Kilian Evang (@texttheater)

Berlin, Germany

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

October 26th, 2011

biorhythmist My abs hurt from all the sit-ups I just laughed at myself for thinking about doing.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:54 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

biorhythmist Expect the unexPTERODACTYL DANCE TROUPE

via Brizzly (retweeted on 11:51 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

biorhythmist If I were an optometrist, my first question to clients would be asking if they were seeing anyone. And then we would laugh and make out.

via Brizzly (retweeted on 11:50 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

biorhythmist When all you have is a hammer every problem is apparently right outside my bedroom window all morning oh hey you have a radial saw too

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:48 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

biorhythmist ATTENTION: We will be performing live power tool identification exercises today. This is not a drill.

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 11:47 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

biorhythmist I SAID I HAD A NEAR DEAF EXPERIENCE

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 11:47 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

biorhythmist Ke$ha had to change her name to Ke\$ha after a tragic shell script accident.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:44 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

biorhythmist The wifi goes out at the cafe and it becomes Animal Planet as the hipster meerkats stand up on their hind legs all at once to look around.

via Brizzly (retweeted on 11:36 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

biorhythmist Asian guys with blond hair: You're scaring the baby.

via web (retweeted on 11:36 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

biorhythmist I would never joke about your mother's favorite sexual position.

That would be beneath me.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:36 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

biorhythmist As a retarded faggot, I'm finding many of these YouTube comments quite off-putting.

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 11:35 PM, Oct 26th, 2011 via Favstar.FM)

Warum sagt mir das keiner, man kann die von Favstar irrtümlich unterstellten Favs selbst löschen. Alles wieder gut: http://t.co/o74w1qgB

via web

“The q-word.” Priceless. http://t.co/IFswortR

via web

Verb of the day: 1984 http://t.co/IFswortR

via web

„Zürnt mir nicht, ihr schönen Tanzenden, wenn ich den kleinen Gott ein wenig züchtige!“ (Nietzsche, Also sprach Zarathustra)

via web