The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

August 2016

BSI_Presse @bundesamtfvs Sorry, kommt nicht wieder vor!

via Mobile Web (M5) (retweeted on 11:40 PM, Aug 31st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

spinfocl So'n Versuch von 'ner Art Ode ans Radfahren. hystprot.tumblr.com/post/149758598… pic.twitter.com/7cGyVnDYrr

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:56 PM, Aug 31st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

AcademicsSay there's delay of gratification, and then there's what academics do

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:41 PM, Aug 31st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

asayeed New favorite German word: "umdichten". -> to reformulate a poem into another poem

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:04 PM, Aug 31st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

@hllizi Zirkuläre Definitionen in Gesetzestexten, don’t you just love them. Einer der krassesten Anti-Digi-Nonsens-Paragrafen neben dem LSR.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to hllizi

@spinfocl Bekannt oder nicht, das ist Umgehung wirksamer (!!1!) technischer Maßnahmen usw.: gesetze-im-internet.de/urhg/__95a.html

via Twitter Web Client in reply to spinfocl

@spinfocl Für Korrekturtweets sind m.E. Replys besser, die kann man über den Originaltweet auffinden.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to spinfocl

spinfocl Geil, SPONPlus verschlüsselt seine Texte mit ROT11. Hat mich 2 Minuten gekostet :D @KlausSchmeh pic.twitter.com/HBCm9hqPmP

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 2:18 PM, Aug 31st, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

durst Alpenglühen. Experimentelles Dokuformat, bei dem ich mit Gast 16h in einer Bergwand hänge, bevor Rettung naht. Mein erster Gast ist Hitler.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:40 PM, Aug 31st, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

skeptikantin Dummerweise waren die Angelsachsen 300 Jahre lieber mit der Zerstörung ihrer Morphologie beschäftigt, als mit der Dokumentation derselben.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:46 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Selbstbild als Gegensprechanlage, die Sitcom-Lacher einspielt.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:12 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

amyquispe does it count as mixing uppers and downers if i'm the downer?

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:11 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Chaosfux Erstmal wütend Kaffee trinken.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:07 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ATBrokenNews Jonathan Meese entdeckt die Mayonnaise

via ORFBrokenNewsBot (retweeted on 11:04 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

jasonbaldridge And who knows... Maybe the old sticky note I used when I had to pop out for a minute is a longer term message... pic.twitter.com/1txeBCXPMM

via iOS (retweeted on 10:52 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Reuters EU telecom regulators adopt strict net neutrality rules, industry dismayed reut.rs/2bzDac8 pic.twitter.com/2Drrcx8N63

via trueAnthem (retweeted on 10:50 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

jasonbaldridge This is an awesome title: "The Semantics of Destructive Lisp." (Mason, 1986) pic.twitter.com/EABI9M2UyI

via iOS (retweeted on 10:47 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

benbarks @frachtschaden vllt. aus Bottrop? Ein paar Sachen kommen aus Bottrop. Tierpflegeprodukte, Steuerberatung, Waggons,..halt die ganze Palette.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:46 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

hllizi Hot: Schäm-Tipps vom Fremdschamgenerator! twitter.com/christilion/st…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:50 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

GerardAraud Most so-called religious conflicts are political confrontations using a religious vocabulary. Religion is the instrument and not the cause.

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 3:29 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ichliebetrash Plot Twist: Ihr werdet
alle eingebuchtet

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 2:13 PM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

ojahnn Heute wird abgewichen!

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:27 AM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ClareCoffey How To Talk To A Woman Wearing Headphones

1. Create a podcast

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:27 AM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

enbikelopedia How to Even for Dummies.
Because we all need this every once in awhile. pic.twitter.com/VDJ3iVVOgt

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:17 AM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

SPIEGELCaptions U-Boote in einer St. Petersburger Wer ft: Aufpäppeln fürs Nachtleben

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 1:14 AM, Aug 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Schplock .@Zesyra *Gewitter* ist eine alte Kollektivbildung, also eine Vielzahl von 'Wetter' - so wie *Geäst* zu *Ast*, vgl.: sprachlog.de/2009/04/29/tag…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 3:18 PM, Aug 29th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn "Warum hast du das gemacht?" - "... So mancher rätselt."

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:46 AM, Aug 29th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

@chrisrodley @asayeed I guess philosophy is a meme, but in a different sense of the word than in KYM.

via Twitter for Android in reply to chrisrodley

iwelsh "in 2001a monthly supply concentrated insulin cost $45. By 2015 it cost $1,447"

This is negligent homicide, imo.

ianwelsh.net/its-not-just-e…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:13 AM, Aug 29th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

dnaber "States often feel obliged to react to the theatre of terrorism with a show of security" store.kobobooks.com/de-de/ebook/ho…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:41 PM, Aug 28th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

amyquispe "Everyone dies."
"That's not true. Less than 95% of people have died."

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:40 PM, Aug 28th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

SpecGram Autodescriptive Linguistic Terms: Copular inversion is this phenomenon.

via IFTTT (retweeted on 9:03 PM, Aug 28th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

zeitonline_pol Die Forderunag von Wikileaks nach vollständiger Transparenz der Politik ist grundfalsch, schreibt @randow zeit.de/2016/36/transp…

via ZEITonline (retweeted on 5:51 PM, Aug 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

texttheater "We will inject you with a neurotransmitter that will cause you to experience a sequence of Hollywood cliché 'worst fears'." - "NOOOOOOOOOOO

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 3:13 PM, Aug 28th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

"Results are promising." But are they keeping?

via Twitter Web Client

durst Selbstbild als Lehrling, der mehrmals durch die Kochprüfung rasselt, weil er weder rückwärts Einkochen noch Anbraten am Berg beherrscht.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:33 PM, Aug 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

texttheater Keine zehn Seepferdchen kriegen mich in ein Aquarium.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:28 AM, Aug 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Ted_Underwood The life-changing magic of just ignoring stuff.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:33 AM, Aug 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

jonnysun first rule of fight club is no fightig. welcom to contradicton club evryone hav a seat adn dont hav a seat. also this isnt contradicton club

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:59 PM, Aug 27th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Jetzt gerade in Groningen: Feuerwerk bei Gewitter.

via Twitter Web Client

"That's an oversimplification!" - "Yes! It's one of my favorite oversimplifications!"

via Twitter Web Client

Got a Canadian to text me in phonemically spelled German. Unique insights into their non-native phoneme system.

via Twitter Web Client

spinfocl Seeungewitter pic.twitter.com/BEOr93uI1Y

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 6:38 PM, Aug 27th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

texttheater Änderungsverkündungs-Tweet-Zurückruder-Nontweet-Paar

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:26 PM, Aug 27th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Badezimmerumfrage 2/2: Wie hängst du die Klopapierrolle auf?

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:23 PM, Aug 27th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

streetartglobe A brief history of the evolution of the dinosaur. Artist unknown.
Follow: @urbanspoon

pic.twitter.com/2GuQY8umak

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:32 PM, Aug 27th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

peterbreuer Wo das Verb, wenn man es?

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:41 AM, Aug 27th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

leisa You can tell a lot about a car company that thinks having 100 million lines of code is something to brag about... pic.twitter.com/E5LO5N85AG

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:18 AM, Aug 27th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

raulde Stephan Fichtner
Was ist das für 1 life?

Zur Beantwortung der Frage, wie man sich nur so hart gönnen kann pic.twitter.com/VNtUZQpCOI

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:56 AM, Aug 27th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Who would win in a fight: Blinky or Klaus?

via Twitter for Android

nsaphra Upon further listening, Linear Digressions subverts this. Not So Standard Deviations seems 50/50. Eyeroll rescinded. twitter.com/nsaphra/status…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:36 PM, Aug 26th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"I said house warming party, not spouse harming party!!"

via Twitter Web Client

cairnage Remember when Britain was under attack by Catholic terrorists in the 70s and 80s so we forced nuns to remove their veils and that fixed it?

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 3:32 PM, Aug 26th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

durst In meinem nächsten Tweet lest ihr, an wen ich den Unimog verkauft habe, wieso ich das Krawattenbinden lernen musste und wie der Franz starb.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:56 AM, Aug 26th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

shutupmikeginn I fucking LOVE science.

*is handed peer reviewed journal*

Haha nonono I meant CGI pictures of space with misattributed quotes as captions

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:15 AM, Aug 26th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

texttheater Online einklauen: 3 Artikel in Ihrem Beutesack. [Zur Tür stürmen]

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:56 AM, Aug 26th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

claytoncubitt STAY ALIVE, GET WEIRD
(Picasso self-portraits: aged 15, 25, 90) pic.twitter.com/MSY2A6Njda

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 8:52 AM, Aug 26th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SPIEGELCaptions Im Internet sur fende Kinder: Verkäufe im Drei-Sekunden-Takt

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 10:09 PM, Aug 25th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

frachtschaden This is sad on so many levels.
bbc.co.uk/news/technolog…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:46 PM, Aug 25th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

yoavgo @awaisathar @jasonbaldridge @scott_bot @ESYudkowsky substitution ciphers are piece of cake, though.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:23 PM, Aug 25th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Im , "gv" is the command meaning "Whoa, hold on, I wasn't done with that selection yet."

via Twitter Web Client

agenao I MUST POSSESS THIS TECHNOLOGY

pic.twitter.com/kmKHb8d03s

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 5:02 PM, Aug 25th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

MaxCRoser In absolute and relative numbers: The world population living in extreme poverty, 1820-2015 ourworldindata.org/grapher/world-…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:51 PM, Aug 25th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

List of examples of Stigler's law (including Stigler's law) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_e…

via Twitter Web Client

GoogleFacts This is what Barcelona looks like from a helicopter. pic.twitter.com/NTEHfC3B0I

via Buffer (retweeted on 2:30 PM, Aug 25th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Möglichst langsam, möglichst in der Mitte des Gehsteigs und mit möglichst ausladenden Gesten

via Twitter for Android

Every time I use "git checkout -p FILE", I have this short terrifying vision of having confused -p with another option.

via Twitter Web Client

SoVeryBritish Deciding to slowly unfold your arms in a meeting, in case you're coming across as too aggressive

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:55 AM, Aug 25th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

frachtschaden "Mami, kommt heute der Kammerjäger?"
"Ja, wegen der Wespen."
"Ich mag den Hamster auch nicht mehr."

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:03 AM, Aug 25th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Es kämpft allerdings gerade nicht gegen Pokémon, sondern gegen eine Art Katze-zum-Tierarzt-bring-Kiste mit Rädern und Zähnen.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:40 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Can't shake the feeling that there must be another way to describe this. pic.twitter.com/v9ax8dlC4x

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:40 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

@ojahnn @Smollsassysloth They modeled the wug after me. I took the photo later, wearing the same shirt again for demonstration purposes. :D

via Twitter for Android in reply to ojahnn

nervous_jessica A herd of semi-wild Icelandic horses discovered us hiking and decided to investigate pic.twitter.com/hIkq1UX85b

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:28 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

SPIEGELCaptions Torschütze Mats Hummels beim Viertelfinalspiel gegen Frankreich: Auch für die Kanzlerin ein Risiko

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 9:55 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Jonnytron I'm not sure if my pride about using command line tools is craftsman's pride, Dunning–Kruger, or Stockholm Syndrome. @climagic

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:54 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Smollsassysloth One Kilian, two _____ twitter.com/texttheater/st…

via Mobile Web (M5) (retweeted on 8:51 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

haldaume3 new blog post "Debugging machine learning", also about ML life cycles; would love comments! nlpers.blogspot.com/2016/08/debugg…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:53 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

TextMining_r Video lectures of Deep Learning Summer School (Montreal 2016): reddit.com/r/textdatamini…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:06 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Wenn man nicht weiß, wovon man redet, ist man sich hinterher natürlich nicht einig, was man vereinbart hat. golem.de/news/verschlue…

via Twitter Web Client

Merman_Melville Why Aren't Millennials Buying Diamonds? Why Aren't Millennials Buying Houses? Why Aren't Millennials Pat & Barb, 63 & 65, of Massachusetts?

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:17 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

iamdevloper A diagram to help you decide whether or not you should deploy on a Friday at 5pm pic.twitter.com/ipaiMHTqbm

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 1:53 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Grimeandreason And if the study isn't garbage, you can absolutely guarantee the reporting of it is. twitter.com/kingsbruh/stat…

via TweetCaster for Android (retweeted on 1:51 PM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

pfinzent denkst du bist was besseres mit deinem t-shirt und deinem...was zur hölle ist das
-hose-
..in deinem hose

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:29 AM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Favstar.FM)

pfinzent *tritt nervös ans Rednerpult* Meine Freunde, schön dass ihr alle da seid. *räuspert sich* Meyers Konversationslexikon definiert "Orgie" als

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:26 AM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

pfinzent tut mir leid wegen der sache auf eurer hochzeit. trotzdem,lukas ist mit ABSTAND das geilste evangelium und ein guter pfarrer wüsste das auch

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:26 AM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

codinghorror This is like the UNIX version of "who's on first" utcc.utoronto.ca/~cks/space/blo…

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 8:47 AM, Aug 24th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

ojahnn @texttheater Ich bin nämlich bisher weder einsam noch wahnsinnig, und habe bisher nicht sämtliche Präsuppositionen explizit aufgelöst

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:20 PM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn @texttheater Ich lös ab jetzt alle Präsuppositionen explizit auf und werde schlagartig einsam und wahnsinnig :D

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:20 PM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

texttheater Wie Deutsch unter dem Einfluss verschiedener Drogen klingt. zeit.de/2015/40/dealer…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:07 PM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

texttheater Nadelstreifenhoodie. Rollkragenponcho. Nietenjogginghose.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 2:48 PM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

asayeed Folks, @sannasideup brought up interesting ling question.What does "eating corn off the cob" mean? Are kernels first

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:25 PM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Der Teufel mit den drei paarweise verschiedenen goldenen Haaren

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 1:25 PM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Lotterleben "Seminararbeit abgegeben! Jetzt erstmal schön nach Hause, aufräumen und Dinge erledigen. <3" Wer bin ich und was habe ich mit mir gemacht?

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:24 PM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Wenn man in der Twitterbio die Aussprache des Accounts in Lautschrift erklären möchte und gar kein ʒ drin vorkommt, wie traurig ist man da?

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:01 AM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

ojahnn PSA: We're talking about twitterbots today in the lunch break! Join us if you want: twitter.com/ojahnn/status/…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:21 AM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

t_sloughter The best part of the mindless systemd complaints is when someone says they are moving to a BSD, completely missing the irony.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:35 AM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Sprenggeld <n> Geldbetrag, den Eltern ihren Kindern zustecken, um dafür auf dem Nachhauseweg Dynamit zu kaufen und ein paar Häuser in die Lu

via Twitter Web Client

SPIEGELCaptions Kind beim Hühnerfüttern: Wettstreit um bessere Selbstdarstellung

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 7:17 AM, Aug 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Kantrowitz Twitter in a nutshell (via @FineFone) pic.twitter.com/d4ttkGEFkC

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:22 PM, Aug 22nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

kawrage No man would choose to wear such a costume, still less to wear it 40 hours a week pic.twitter.com/XWxhNfhRDe

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:45 AM, Aug 22nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

ojahnn "Don't tell anyone, but I actually don't know what meanings are." - a semanticist

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:44 AM, Aug 22nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

ojahnn It's been 4 minutes and I already get it

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:44 AM, Aug 22nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

ojahnn I'm in a class by the person who made @texttheater move to a different country 😍

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:44 AM, Aug 22nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

ftcreature aren't crabs the most polite eaters you've ever seen? pic.twitter.com/ceFzfUMz6g

via Buffer (retweeted on 1:01 AM, Aug 22nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

limontjik so what the fuck americans use butter for then pic.twitter.com/WLAzEzJ8hk

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:09 AM, Aug 22nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

sapinker Shocking history of fraud by Greenpeace in fanatical campaign against GMOs - worse than climate change deniers. slate.com/articles/healt…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:08 AM, Aug 22nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

stanfordnlp Stanford student @jbrowder1 extends his successful Chatbot from fighting parking tickets to doing more social good arstechnica.co.uk/tech-policy/20…

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 5:53 PM, Aug 21st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SoVeryBritish Comforting a crying person by nearly putting your hand on their shoulder

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:52 PM, Aug 21st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SwiftOnSecurity Windows users with bash.
Linux users with PowerShell.
FreeBSD users with WiFi.
It's been a crazy year.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:19 PM, Aug 21st, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

SPIEGELCaptions Glut unterm Eispanzer Wege des Schmelzwassers nach dem Ausbruch des Vulkans Bárdabunga: Ultimative Männerphantasie

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 9:44 AM, Aug 21st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Was mich heute auch maßlos aufgeregt hat: Die Divergenz zwischen Wunsch und Wirklichkeit. Da könnte doch ECHT noch was dran gemacht werden!!

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:29 PM, Aug 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SMBCComics What's Your Greatest Weakness? smbc-comics.com/comic/your-gre…

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 11:27 PM, Aug 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

best_of_HP Harry Potter und die Markteintrittsdrohung der Regionalverkehrsbetriebe

via Harry-Potter-Titel (retweeted on 7:48 PM, Aug 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

nichtschubsen Könnten die Leute vielleicht etwas weniger GIERIG ihre Hundehaufen eintüten?

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 3:45 PM, Aug 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

GretchenAMcC "You catch Pidgey!"
"Pidgey fights Rattata!"
"Pidgey faints!"
"You revive Pidgey!"

3 unambiguous transitives
1 unambiguous intransitive

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:45 PM, Aug 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

GretchenAMcC Dear anyone teaching linguistics this fall. I've figured out the solution to violent example sentences and pop culture relevance: Pokemon

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 3:45 PM, Aug 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

CFGT_Edinburgh Dreamt that using "/" instead of "|" would speed up a pipeline: using "\" would slow it down, avoiding race conditions @climagic

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:43 PM, Aug 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Twitterpause wegen Zwerchfellzerrung.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:32 AM, Aug 20th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

I didn't know the word rodman, but I know 79% of the other English words according to . vocabulary.ugent.be

via Twitter for Android

@ojahnn Hat dich *dahin* der Aufzug befördert??

via Twitter for Android in reply to ojahnn

I love the lady who thinks "a female has more hormones." Later, she looks like she actually realized something. youtu.be/Y4Zdx97A63s

via Twitter for Android

moonpolysoft found the cover image for my book on microservices pic.twitter.com/yyKYZJlLRW

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:37 AM, Aug 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

“/nᵻˈmɒzᵻniː/. You’ll never guess how that is spelled.”

via Twitter Web Client

OzcanAkyol Ik was vanavond in Groningen. Als heel Nederland er als die stad gaat uitzien, hebben we geen problemen meer.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:09 PM, Aug 19th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

hllizi Das muß ich leider verneinen. twitter.com/telekomerleben…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:05 PM, Aug 19th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

peterbreuer Habt Ihr auch das Video gesehen, in dem Luftballons in Kuvertüre getaucht werden, um Schokoladenschalen...? Egal. pic.twitter.com/5dXg2xr5wB

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:15 PM, Aug 19th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Wäscheklammer : Socke :: Schraubzwinge : Badetuch

via Twitter Web Client

"allenfalls für Männer interessant, die die emotionale Reife von Fünfzehnjährigen besäßen" - Erfolg unerklärlich 🤔 m.faz.net/aktuell/gesell…

via Twitter for Android

spinfocl @ojahnn @texttheater Hast du dich getraut, den unbeschrifteten Knopf rechts neben der -2 zu drücken?

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 10:00 AM, Aug 19th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Der Aufzug im Stephansdom hat an *drei* Seiten Türen – je nach dem, ob man unten ein-, oben aus- oder ein- oder unten aussteigt.

via Twitter Web Client

Bizarres Erlebnis (Wien, 2012): Ich überquere eine rote Fußgängerampel. Hinter mir tönt es empört „E rosso!“

via Twitter Web Client

If you've worked with cyclic terms in , this will seem familiar.

?- J = b(J).
J = b(J). twitter.com/frachtschaden/…

via Twitter for Android

askolovitchC Français au hasard de la naissance, les chasseurs de , s'ils étaient nés iraniens, seraient de braves mollahs voileurs de femmes.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:37 PM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

climagic I've been thinking for about a year now that Windows 11 or 12 will run on a Linux kernel. twitter.com/frntn/status/7…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:59 PM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

danieldekok @texttheater Rondlijders. (Sorry, geen fan van rondleidingen ;).)

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 9:01 PM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

fraeulein_tessa Malls in Wohnungen verwandeln. Könnte ja auch so ein Tipp für Berlin sein. hellogiggles.com/americas-oldes…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:47 PM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Hoe noem je de deelnemers aan een rondleiding? Rondleidelingen?

via Twitter Web Client

drguidoknapp DIe DDR zahlte jährlich 20000 DM Lizenzgebühren für die "Internationale" an einen westdt. Musikmanager. bit.ly/2bEYl12

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:32 PM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

JennaMC_Laugh DOJ to stop using private prisons. Can't help but conclude @shane_bauer's incredible reporting had a hand in this: washingtonpost.com/news/post-nati…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:11 PM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

awaisathar @jasonbaldridge s/someone/something
Had they known in 1969 what would be possible in 50 years... pic.twitter.com/0vwhDPbF5Y

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:10 PM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

@jasonbaldridge I think it's "Machine Translation and Applied Linguistics"

via Twitter for Android in reply to jasonbaldridge

_dmh Petruck: FrameNet group just got funding for Multilingual FrameNet, combining resources from the many lg-specific FNs

via Mobile Web (M2) (retweeted on 5:40 PM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

spinfocl Fahre viel Rad. Allwetters und gerne schnell. Ohne Wut, weiß halt, im öffentlichen Raum musst du Abstriche machen. twitter.com/henningkrause/…

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 9:49 AM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

haldaume3 very cool paper on sentence meaning versus speaking meaning. thanks for pointer! twitter.com/emilymbender/s…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:49 AM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

16% done with Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson: "One thing Waterhouse likes about these... goodreads.com/user_status/sh…

via Goodreads

FerJohnPeterson "Je moet de dubbele puntjes op de i zetten."

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 1:19 AM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Today I attended a very good hallway track that turned into a picknick-in-the-park track and later into a pub track

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:28 AM, Aug 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

konsulampulle [faust voice] i bims in 1 zwiespalt

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 8:49 PM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

nsaphra damn that's a pessimistic reading list from @hardsci hardsci.wordpress.com/2016/08/11/eve…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:49 PM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

nichtschubsen Ich peppe meinen Alltag durch neue Formulierungen auf; bspw. sage ich neuerdings „Ich danke Ihnen", statt „Warum kann ich nicht in Ruhe ster

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:48 PM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

AwfulFantasy "The wizard's tower pierced the stormy sky and lightning stroke it. Lightning strake it again. Then, lightning strunked it a final time."

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:49 PM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

texttheater Unsere Hotline nimmt Verstellungen und Ausflüchte entgegen.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:42 PM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

astefanowitsch Diese Schlagzeile hätte eigentlich lauten müssen: „Türken stark unterrepräsentiert unter ausgereisten Islamisten.“

spiegel.de/politik/auslan…

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 6:25 PM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

trochee This prediction game needs a hashtag and BLEU or ROUGE scoring when the real DT tweet comes out twitter.com/chrisalbon/sta…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:57 PM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

nancyleong This headline is a metaphor for basically the entire world. pic.twitter.com/5WpQa04N0o

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:56 PM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Catering for the next conference should include ‘Kneser-Ney smoothies’.

via Twitter Web Client

labenzticker Gamerschwang, der: Irrationale Bewegung, etwa um einer Gefahr auszuweichen oder hinter ein Hindernis zu blicken, da… labenz.texttheater.net/Gamerschwang

via Labenzticker (retweeted on 11:09 AM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Writing about papers from the 1990s like ‘How do I paraphrase this for readers who don’t speak 20th century?’

via Twitter Web Client

zarahsultana Text on bag reads as: "This text has no other purpose than to terrify those who are afraid of the Arabic language." pic.twitter.com/vHknRBQoPG

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:31 AM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

hllizi Der Mensch als Arschloch und Rahmung.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:31 AM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Reading papers from the 1990s like ‘We employ a technology called [Dr Evil air quotes] “Machine Learning”.’

via Twitter Web Client

haldaume3 New blog post on "Feature (or architecture) ablation" nlpers.blogspot.com/2016/08/featur…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:34 AM, Aug 17th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

sixtus Falls mal jemand ein Bild benötigen sollte, um das Konzept Bigotterie zu illustrieren. pic.twitter.com/yPVQ9MLfRP

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:49 PM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

josh_wills I'n thinking about writing a book on data engineering for kids: "An Immutable, Append-Only Log of Unfortunate Events"

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:46 PM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

ojahnn Dank @texttheater kann ich nun in mehreren Zeitformen über Präzipitur sprechen \o/ pic.twitter.com/5s85kJELSI

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:31 PM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

“People born in 2000 are 16 now, can you believe it?”
– People born in 1995

via Twitter Web Client

JesNx Thing I just realized:
All these "fave 7 things" hashtags are *security question answers*

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:25 PM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

climagic pushd and popd are also common programs you can use for moving around the filesystem. See 'help pushd' and 'help popd' for info.

via CLI Magic poster (retweeted on 6:06 PM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Queen_Europe BREXIT DAY 55: Nigel Farage is turning German. buzzfeed.com/patrickstrudwi…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:18 PM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

frachtschaden I'm not saying you're pretentious, I'm just saying YOU USED \mathscr IN YOUR PHYSICS PAPER.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:19 PM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Ich kann auch Tiere mit so länglichen Ballons formen. Also, Raupen und Würmer jedenfalls.

via Twitter Web Client

durst Selbstbild als Mildly Annoying Orange ("Hey Apple! Is this a good time? Do you have, like, one moment?")

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:20 PM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

My xmonad config is no longer showing window borders. Watch my panels/windows/menu bars playfully fuse! pic.twitter.com/xVeEJgC9f8

via Twitter Web Client

DanKaszeta Reality TV idea: We build a fake White House and put Trump in it and tell him he's president. Film the whole thing.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:08 AM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

LIEFDE & PASSIE, broodmerk van Albert Heijn, opvolger van het oude merk WINSTOOGMERK & BEREKENING.

via Twitter for Android

Hier wird mit schweren Geschützen gebrandschützt. twitter.com/SPIEGELCaption…

via Twitter for Android

durst Leute grüßen mich auf der Straße, weil sie an meinem verschmitzten Lächeln sehen, wie gottgefällig ich lebe. So meine plausibelste Theorie.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:28 AM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

texttheater @Lotterleben I do everything in a browser or in a terminal, Linux got nothing on me. ;)

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 12:28 AM, Aug 16th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Fu Yuanhui's Greatest Moments (English subs) youtu.be/Jn0nPGfH1HI via @YouTube

via Twitter Web Client

Before rolling out the "identify what's playing" feature, perhaps @GooglePlayMusic could have added some songs to it?

via Twitter for Android

JochenBittner Warum so ein verantwortungsvoller Job ist?
Weil das Sagbare und das Nichtsagbare den Raum des Machbaren definieren.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:59 PM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SPIEGELCaptions Drogenabhängiger in Bonn: Wie aus einem Dürrenmatt-Plot

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 9:58 PM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

vassility „... und mit dem X da oben in der Ecke kannst du das Programm dann wieder schließen, Mama.“ pic.twitter.com/fZaeD3tyqd

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:21 PM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

peterbreuer Den Kult um Betten aus Europaletten könnte ich verstehen, wenn die Leute sich auch Gabelstapler kaufen würden, um unter dem Bett zu putzen.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:01 PM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

filip_woj esc esc
ctrl+c
ctrl+q
alt+f4
ctrl+f4
ctrl+alt+del
euw80fh80 7e20hf7-qwehf8h5gds1+==+/)=%_(( h298r3[q]11254

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:49 PM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

best_of_HP Harry Potter und die Forschungsgeschichte der Antiatomkraftbewegung

via Harry-Potter-Titel (retweeted on 7:07 PM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Dan Jurafsky's talk was so energetic nobody dared ask even a single rambly question afterwards (but lots of good ones). More of this please!

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:30 PM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

haroonmeer Most people shouldn't be worried about AI stealing their jobs. Small bash scripts maybe, but not AI.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:26 PM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

TIL: The Star Trek reboot series takes place in a different universe, but explicitly in the same multiverse. memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Star_Trek…

via Twitter for Android

I wonder what other emotions were "shining through" in that exchange. youtu.be/F_yor5Od3yA

via Twitter for Android

@texttheater Whoops, forgot Javascript and Prolog ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

via Twitter for Android in reply to texttheater

@verhoevenben Not that I ever became proficient in all of these – only German, English, Dutch, French.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to verhoevenben

katecrawford "The use of wearable video cameras is associated with a 3.64% increase in shooting-deaths of civilians by police." blogs.wsj.com/law/2016/08/12…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:14 AM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

BASIC, PHP, Pascal, Lisp, Java, Perl, Python

via Twitter for Android

astefanowitsch . @hearTimpaler Vor allem Zeit und Nerven.

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 9:32 AM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

German, Latin, English, French, Italian, Russian, Mandarin (Dutch is 8th)

via Twitter for Android

stephenroller English, German, German again, German again, German one more time, Ugh still trying to learn German

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:26 AM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

astefanowitsch Promovieren im Bereich Sprachwissenschaft.
Gegen Bezahlung.
In Berlin.
Bei *mir*.

Worauf wartet ihr?

blogs.fu-berlin.de/structeng/2016…

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 9:14 AM, Aug 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

JustBanter__ Mum: if your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?
Me: pic.twitter.com/hwyilfjkYH

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:50 PM, Aug 14th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

amyquispe Also we should stop treating heroin like heroin just sayin'

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:54 PM, Aug 14th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

@asayeed Ich bin mal von Düsseldorf nach Wuppertal umgezogen und war sehr überrascht, dass die Grenze anscheinend dazwischen verläuft.

via Twitter for Android in reply to asayeed

Yo @APAPsycNET, your website is broken on phones. Saying I don't want to download the app erroneously redirects to the search form.

via Twitter for Android

ChristophKappes Systematisches Denken verbessert die Empathie, Studie psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2016-… via @karrierebibel

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:55 AM, Aug 14th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"Die Kühlkette ist seit Urgroßvater Waldemar nicht unterbrochen worden." twitter.com/astefanowitsch…

via Twitter for Android

_stk Wikidata-Idee: Gib das Datum deiner Party ein und lass dir passende Jahrestage als Partymottoanlass ausgeben.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:43 AM, Aug 14th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"It's trying to fly away!" - "That's what you get for buying free-range stuff."

via Twitter for Android

SPIEGELCaptions Im nächsten Hef t: Morddrohungen gegen „Detlev aus Deutschland“

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 9:04 PM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Halt die Fresse, Corny-Müsliriegel, und versuch' einfach zu schmecken! pic.twitter.com/hcXwpuZzSc

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:03 PM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

seanswaby Olympians: They’re just like the rest of us. vine.co/v/5huPOnxAQrL

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 8:59 PM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

luzilla 5mm großes insekt mit buch erschlagen, 1,5 quadratmeter großer fleck an der wand. okay!!!

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:58 PM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Der Plan war, heute keine Pläne zu machen und ging schon in der Planungsphase schief.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:04 PM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"I host huge sex parties. Here's what I know about consent" @HuffPostBlog huffingtonpost.com/entry/consent-… via @HuffPostWomen

via Twitter for Android

labenzticker Bettmaringen, das: Die sehr schnelle Drehung um 180°, die das Zimmer um einen zu machen scheint, wenn man mit gesch… labenz.texttheater.net/Bettmaringen

via Labenzticker (retweeted on 11:03 AM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Idea: there should be a brutalist coloring book, sold together with a set of "colored" pencils in 36 shades of grey. h/t @Smollsassysloth

via Twitter for Android

@ojahnn Genau, das meinte ich. Was als "praktisch" gilt, hängt letztlich allein von der Nachfrage ab.

via Twitter for Android in reply to ojahnn

spinfocl .@texttheater @ojahnn Dito. Wobei man in beiden Welten als Spezialist für die andere angesehen wird. Hat manchmal Vorteile (manchmal nicht).

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 10:29 AM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

@ojahnn Was "praktische Fähigkeiten" sind, hängt natürlich davon ab, was Das System™ gerade belohnt.

via Twitter for Android in reply to ojahnn

@ojahnn Fühle mich als Teil eines MINT-Außenpostens im Humanities-Land. In keine von beiden Welten vollständig eingebunden.

via Twitter for Android in reply to ojahnn

levampyre "Bei den einzigen beiden … Burka-Trägerinnen in Deutschland handelt es sich um zwei Dominas in einem S/M-Studio." twitter.com/bento_de/statu…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:50 AM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"it’s not the shagging around that’s new. What’s new is talking about it like grown-ups." twitter.com/PennyRed/statu…

via Twitter for Android

durst Die drei ??? und der Stachel der Fleischeslust.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:38 AM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

frachtschaden Mein Techno-Gesicht pic.twitter.com/chSvH821JB

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:36 AM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

peterbreuer Starke Leistung der 3 deutschen Reiterinnen, dem deutschen Reiter und ihren Pferden. Aber Respekt auch an die 4 Hasen unter ihren Zylindern.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:28 AM, Aug 13th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst tackert sich seine "air quotes" auf den Rücken und flattert mit sarkastischen Armbewegungen davon.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:11 PM, Aug 12th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Hab heute so mordsmäßig schwarzweißgrau eingekauft, dass sie mir vor lauter Anerkennung ein Werbe-Oreo mit in die Tüte gepackt haben.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:39 PM, Aug 12th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

TRUTH. De 5 allerkutste verpakkingen ter wereld | Kakhiel kakhiel.nl/posts/32331-de…

via Twitter Web Client

frachtschaden ohne techno bin ich nur ein ameisenbär
all hier auf grüner heid
all hier auf grüner heid
[…meltdown…]
all hier aufaufaufauf

UTZ UTZ UTZ UTZ

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:34 PM, Aug 12th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Wordsmithgetxo So the Olympics have brought us the verbs "to medal", "to gold/silver/bronze" and "to spectate". How did we ever manage without them?

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:32 PM, Aug 12th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

durst Herkömmliches deutsches Wurzelgemüse, das beleidigt auf den funky Neuzugang im Gemüsefach reagiert ("Ing-wer?").

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:14 PM, Aug 12th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Chaosfux Wortspiele mit Wurzelgemüse.

Ingwer muss das ja machen.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:13 PM, Aug 12th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Hier seht ihr einen visuellen Ohrwurm, den ich schon seit zwei Tagen mit mir herumschleppe. pic.twitter.com/nseZl7Klo9

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:08 AM, Aug 12th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

kathrinpassig Ich glaube, ich muss mal eine Serie "Ärgernisse umdeuten" anfangen. Via @dalcashdvinsky: aeon.co/ideas/what-i-l…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:36 AM, Aug 12th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

personaldebatte "WACHT AUF, VERDAMMTE DIESER ERDE, DIE…"
*Verdammte dieser Erde drücken Snooze*
*15 Min. vergehen*
"WACHT AUF, VER…"
*Snooze*

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 8:42 AM, Aug 12th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

astefanowitsch Manchmal tappen ja selbst meine Partnerin und ich noch in diese Rosa-Hellblau-Falle. pic.twitter.com/sElzz3FKP0

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:53 PM, Aug 11th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

FerJohnPeterson I didn't choose the pug life. The pug life didn't choose me either. I don't have a pug.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:13 PM, Aug 11th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

"It’s more of a curiosity situation.” Dilbert Comic for 2016-08-07 by Scott Adams dilbert.com/strip/2016-08-… via @Dilbert_Daily

via Twitter Web Client

courtisane_de .@EMMA_Magazin: Genau. Und wie in allen Wirtschaftszweigen ist das erprobte Mittel gegen Ausbeutung die Stärkung der Rechte der Arbeiter.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:01 AM, Aug 11th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

spinfocl Der frühe Wurm wird gefressen. Der Teil der Geschichte wird immer unter den Teppich gekehrt.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:07 AM, Aug 11th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Wenn man eine Beziehung beginnt, heißt das „verkering krijgen“… Niederländisch ist echt die Sprache der Liebe.

via Twitter Web Client

ojahnn Im H&M in Oslo gab es viel mehr sommerliche Grautöne als in Düsseldorf, und deshalb bin ich unfroh.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:10 PM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

kdphd 3rd Workshop on Fairness, Accountability, and Transparency in Machine Learning call for papers! Deadline Sept 9th fatml.org/cfp.html

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:30 PM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst hätte Bock auf Zerlegung.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:21 PM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

peterbreuer Ich könnte gar nicht sagen, ob ich erwachsen geworden bin oder die anderen, aber irgendwie passen wir nicht mehr zusammen.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:49 PM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

spinfocl Seufz. Man bräuchte so etwas wie @BILDblog, nur für irreführende, aber von der Reichweitenpresse aufgegriffene Studien.

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 8:47 PM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

I strongly empathize with the unseen person in the last panel. Backups xkcd.com/1718/

via Twitter Web Client

nytimes Use of "honey" or "darling" to address women in court will now result in a penalty, American Bar Association votes nyti.ms/2aEk19c

via SocialFlow (retweeted on 1:32 PM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

trottelbot .@having Döner Hawaii mit Pomm-Bären. Situationsethisch geboten.

via Trottelbot (retweeted on 11:46 AM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

asayeed I highly recommend that more people do slideless talks. It may take some courage though.

via Twitter for BlackBerry (retweeted on 11:12 AM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

nsaphra Zhiting Hu uses a teacher model aware of logical constraints to train a student network. arxiv.org/pdf/1603.06318…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:57 AM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

shariv67 To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:07 AM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst arbeitet im Backend-Bereich einer Konditorei als Süßadmin.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:02 AM, Aug 10th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

5thCircAppeals 11. A racist joke sends a message to the in-group that racism is acceptable. (If you don't find it acceptable, you're in the out-group.)

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:29 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

5thCircAppeals 6. IOW, we use humor to bring people into - or keep them out of - our social groups. This is what humor *does.* What it's for.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:29 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

5thCircAppeals 2. You're never "just joking." Nobody is ever "just joking." Humor is a social act that performs a social function (always).

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:28 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

oOtrinityOo Sollte ein Dämon heute meinen Körper übernehmen, dann wird er morgen früh ganz schön blöd gucken, weil er 7 Uhr einen Zahnarzttermin hat.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:29 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

bah_lab Wow. What bad choices did we make c.1980? pic.twitter.com/68KxZYmIpb

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 8:44 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

oOtrinityOo Da trainieren die 4 Jahre für Gold und dann gewinnt ein Pferd.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 8:44 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

adamgreatkind "AI's Language Problem" or, "Why I feel reasonably good that there will be a job for me in 5 years." Excellent read technologyreview.com/s/602094/ais-l…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:43 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Wenn am Ende der Energie noch so viel Tag übrig ist

Bildquelle: commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Im_B… pic.twitter.com/N1XNfDjlZa

via Twitter Web Client

thedansimonson Friedrich, Palmer, Pinkal: classifying aspect and genericity, to better understanding temporality pic.twitter.com/kRa9PXYbwj

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:01 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

texttheater Unser Wohlbefinden ruht auf verschiedenen Säulen, etwa der Acetylsalicylsäule.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:27 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Crumpets: "Du kannst sie toasten, soviel du willst, sie bleiben immer unangenehm schwammig." herr-rau.de/wordpress/2016…

via Twitter Web Client

durst Katze (DE), Löwe (FR), Hund (RU, KR, ES) und Bär (NL) linguisticsyall.tumblr.com/post/729945922…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:37 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

niggi Jetzt frei online: Mein Stück über die Pegidahaftigkeit von Walter Krämers Sprachschutzverein VDS uebermedien.de/7099/die-pegid…

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 2:34 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Adolph Freiherr Knigges Buch „Über den Umgang mit Menschen“ hieße heute „Social Skills für Dummies“.

via Twitter Web Client

texttheater Haushaltstipp: Kein Klopapier? Einfach eine Küchenrolle mittig mit dem Schwert zerteilen.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 12:30 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

emilymbender ~5% of sentiment bearing words flip polarity in a century --Hamilton at

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:11 PM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

labenzticker Anrath, der: Väterliche und leicht weltfremde Respektsperson, die oft und gerne die Probleme anderer Leute gedankli… labenz.texttheater.net/Anrath

via Labenzticker (retweeted on 11:02 AM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

personaldebatte Ich verstehe diese Menschen sehr gut, und wer sich im Streit nicht zu benehmen weiß, kriegt von mir aufs Maul! twitter.com/Les_Liah/statu…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:07 AM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

sinjax Hand built form-independent semantics as the training data for machine learning systems that represent semantic primitives

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:06 AM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

asayeed Steedman: distributional theories can be divided into collocation- and denotation-based

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:06 AM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Der Hausarzt rumort im Kaminschacht.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:01 AM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

saatchi_gallery Street Artist Mathieu Tremblin paints over ugly graffiti to make it legible. pic.twitter.com/5duRStEoFt

via Buffer (retweeted on 10:01 AM, Aug 9th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

DerPoppe Was muss eigentlich in so einer Jugend passieren, dass man an den Punkt kommt, wo man sagt: "Och, ich probier mal Synchronspringen aus!"

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:36 PM, Aug 8th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SoVeryBritish The six sweetest words to hear: "I'm going to have to cancel"

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:04 PM, Aug 8th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"Normalerweise gehe ich zu einer anderen Frittenbude, aber das Gebäude, in dem die sich befindet, existiert zur Zeit nicht."

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Splatter linguistics! I once dreamt of a large amount of cow: texttheater.net/schleim twitter.com/astefanowitsch…

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ojahnn Ein Geburtstagsblogeintrag für @_noujoum! <3 <3 <3 Geschwisterliche Begeisterung und Kollektivhighfives enigmabrot.de/blog/?id=237

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@asayeed Not that I know of, unfortunately, just kidding. :)

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guenterhack "Erdogan bietet an, auch Kaiser Japans zu werden: 'Wenn der Ruf mich ereilt'"

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:24 AM, Aug 8th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

.@asayeed If you find yourself walking on the ceiling, take the paternoster and ride past the bottom or top to reverse your gravity.

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texttheater Man erkennt die Absicht, ist aber nicht verstimmt.

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"Ich fordere alle Mitwoller und Mitwollerinnen auf, sich so schnell wie möglich anzumelden."

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SPIEGELCaptions Am 20. August 2002 führt Woodward ein: Peinliche Fragen bleiben den Kunden erspart

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I love using the university’s compute cluster in August.

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SwatAlum Be in love with your problem, not your solution." –Matt Wallaert '05 ow.ly/jx08302Wckd

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BayesForDays No, it does not twitter.com/LingSocAm/stat…

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ojahnn in multidimensional semantic space twitter.com/goodreads/stat…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:56 PM, Aug 7th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

schnozze Die Locken des Pudels entstehen durch eine rassetypische Geburtstechnik, ähnlich des Geschenkbandkräuselns.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:08 PM, Aug 7th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Vater zweier Straßenrowdys (8 + 12), Sozius von @bikerbabe, Online-Redakteur bei auto motor sport (vorher AutoBILD) / Hier mit Rad unterwegs

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SPIEGELCaptions Nordkorea-Besucher Chung, gespendetes Rind: Ökologie, Nachhaltigkeit, Integration

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jasonbaldridge Here's how to put an athletic department in its place, by an English prof in 1983. HT @psresnik imgur.com/vJWkqhe

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Just did a few repairs on the 14-year-old PHP mess that is labenz.texttheater.net. Internal links should be working again.

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CoryCasoni This guy is repairing failing cosplay on the show floor. It's the most amazing thing I've seen all con! pic.twitter.com/ywd9lr7wee

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SPIEGELCaptions Lonesome George: Einer, der nur die eigenen Regeln befolgt

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frachtschaden *schnorchelt durch Borschtsch*

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 12:29 AM, Aug 7th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

the_maki Gefreiter
Kunstmaler
Bierkeller-Redner
Putschist
Buchautor
Parteichef
Robbenbaby-Pfleger

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:55 PM, Aug 6th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

newsycombinator Superblocks: how Barcelona is taking city streets back from cars vox.com/2016/8/4/12342…

via newsycombinator (retweeted on 11:54 PM, Aug 6th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

What's the head of a ram doing in the background? twitter.com/JerseyAdBabe/s…

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Nachtvogel Zur Pride Week im Supermarkt meines Vertrauens. pic.twitter.com/BQVI20IhlF

via twicca (retweeted on 5:22 PM, Aug 6th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Details zum englischen Wegerecht, verschiedene Typen von Zaunübertritten und vieles mehr <3 twitter.com/Herr_Rau/statu…

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oOtrinityOo Die Rasenmäher und Kreissäger tragen ihre Wettkämpfe heute zeitgleich aus. Hier wurde schlecht geplant.

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Pinboard The Programmers’ Credo: we do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they were going to be easy

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 12:17 PM, Aug 6th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

hllizi @durst voll gute Einladung, klare Ansage, alles wichtige drin.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:57 AM, Aug 6th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

hllizi Was sein Avatar mir ihm machen würde, hätte er die Gelegenheit, stelle ich mir aus Zartbesaitetheit nicht vor. twitter.com/JoAhlen/status…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:57 AM, Aug 6th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

rebeccawatson BREAKING NEWS presidential elections called off, this lady elected president by unanimous decision pic.twitter.com/xfeJjyYGmn

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Evo2Me Vielleicht sollte D die Kleingartenkönigreiche der Reichsbürger anerkennen, Grenzzäune aufstellen, Zölle etc., zu Feindstaaten erklären.

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stephenroller Pretty much everything I do ends up being "pv some_large_file.txt | parallel --pipe python -u my_slow_text_processor"

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SPIEGELCaptions EU-Partner*, Finanzzentrum London: Mit Dagobert Duck

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rbranson This is quite possibly the best HN comment of all time. 💯 pic.twitter.com/RP85hLYMLf

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dicktofel The great @AlecMacGillis on a big part of what gave us Trump-- and the lack of empathy for poor whites propublica.org/article/white-…

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 3:45 PM, Aug 5th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"mansplaining is the failure of the speaker to adapt their conversation to acknowledge the listener's expertise" fozmeadows.tumblr.com/post/148485346…

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durst sticht aus der Masse heraus und dann wieder in sie hinein und näht so ihren Rand nach Art einer mit Menschen gefüllten Raviole zu.

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"Wie bist du denn unter *den* Eindruck geraten?"

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Olivianuzzi i love how few fucks the police captain quoted in this story gives usatoday.com/story/news/nat…

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SoVeryBritish Being 100% aware that the person you're pretending not to see is also pretending not to see you

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:23 AM, Aug 5th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SPIEGELCaptions Bankenmetropole Frankfurt am Main: Das neue Dorf soll schöner werden, fließend Wasser, ein Kino vielleicht, eine Bowlingbahn

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 12:04 AM, Aug 5th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Herr_Rau Aus viel tiefgefrorenen Gemüseresten viel tiefzufrierende Gemüsebrühe gemacht. So wird das nichts mit dem Abtauen.

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SoVeryBritish Knowing a conversation is officially dead when you have to take two sips of tea in a row

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:37 PM, Aug 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Bei mir hängt so viel von der sogenannten Tagesform ab, dass ich überlege, mich einfach mal an einem guten Tag portionsweise einzufrieren.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:44 PM, Aug 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

mylittlepwnies3 I'd tell you the joke about the efficient market hypothesis but I assume you have already heard it pic.twitter.com/S7JKEpo2L7

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noonanjo 14. But imagine having to turn launch keys not knowing if we were under attack or if it was b/c foreign leader said a mean thing on twitter

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SPIEGELCaptions Flottenadmiral Zheng He, Weltkarte von Waldseemüller: Putsch gegen den Gewerkschafter?

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 10:18 AM, Aug 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

@durst Minimalismus. Wenige Dinge besitzen, auf wenigen Quadratmetern wohnen.

via Twitter for Android in reply to durst

@frachtschaden Nicht nur die Zahlen… aber ich glaub, *jetzt* stimmt’s.

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@frachtschaden Ups, in der Tat, ich hatte die Zahlen vertauscht! Ist korrigiert.

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frachtschaden Für meine neue Kurzgeschichte google ich "Adler Beinlänge". Ok.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:36 PM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

haldaume3 calling my professor colleagues. I plan to not hold classes on Nov 8. can we make this a thing? twitter.com/ericajoy/statu…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:36 PM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

der_handwerk Die Messer in unserer Ferienwohnung sind nicht stumpf, es ist halt nur egal wie herum man sie benutzt.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:06 PM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

texttheater @frachtschaden Ich habe mich an einer Antwort versucht: texttheater.net/eine-antwort-z…

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spinfocl The REAL 10 algorithms that dominate our world medium.com/@_marcos_otero…

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Nachtvogel Jesus Christ Statist

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durst Plot twist: Es reicht, über 4 Brücken zu gehen und Peter Maffay muss umdrehen.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:19 PM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Ich werde mich nie zwischen Eclipse und NetBeans entscheiden können.

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larsr_h sequence diagram of an object-oriented enterprise architecture pic.twitter.com/yRa2V1FmAh

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:08 PM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

omg m) German Beer Ad Shows Men Cradling Their Beer Bellies Like Pregnant Moms-To-Be - My Modern Met mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs…

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mentulas This meme was meant to be anti-feminist but instead it just makes it look cooler pic.twitter.com/4FgrQ6w2Oi

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:46 PM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

@asayeed But I don’t find it that repulsive. Tortilla chips don’t need to be salty, do they?

via Twitter Web Client in reply to texttheater

TheDreamGhoul [plant facts!!]
bananas are technically berries
almonds are seeds
avocados are mammals
most cucumbers are haunted
potatoes aren't even real

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:56 AM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

@asayeed As opposed to a *serious* tortilla chip-flavoured chocolate bar?

via Twitter for Android in reply to asayeed

MasteringVim Interesting challenge: codegolf.stackexchange.com/questions/8698…

I dare someone to try this in any other editor than Vim :)

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:41 AM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

kimmaicutler A Swedish entrepreneur picks Beijing over Silicon Valley for founding a company: blog.traintracks.io/a-swede-return… pic.twitter.com/FS9Nt7uzMZ

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:13 AM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

PicardTips Picard emergency tip: When all else fails, route main power through the main deflector dish.

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 8:11 AM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

_LisaFarrell To the person who hacked my Amazon account and bought 27 books on being a good Christian, you're not exactly off to a flying start.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:11 AM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Der_Postillon Feedback: Der MDR hat unsere Meldung "Aus "seid" und "seit" wird einheitlich "seidt"" ungeprüft übernommen. Ab 1:51:
mdr.de/mediathek/info…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:08 AM, Aug 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Wort des Tages: konterkarikieren

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"Er hat schon immer ein wenig geschissen auf das, was alle denken."

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Warum man beim Schreiben manchmal bestimmte Buchstaben vermeiden muss: verben.texttheater.net/forum/index.ph…

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@peterbreuer So vieles an den USA macht das schwer vorstellbar.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to peterbreuer

levampyre Gna, ich hasse Klamotten shoppen. Warum muß man sich überhaupt anziehen? Lästige Scheiße!

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:23 PM, Aug 2nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

luisepusch Hillary gilt als unauthentisch. Kommunikationstheoretisch leicht zu beweisen: Sie ist authentischer als die meisten. fembio.org/biographie.php…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:49 PM, Aug 2nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

elijahmanor Clippy is making a comeback in a utility I'm making for work 😜 pic.twitter.com/Oe2FHQZ0Uk

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:41 PM, Aug 2nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Ich kannte schon viele Gründe für Leipografie, aber den noch nicht! 👍 twitter.com/f_kess/status/…

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AcademicsSay The problem with academic career goals is that you might not be enough of the same person when you reach them to have it be worth it.

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durst packt das Goldspray für die Häufchen ein und führt den Hund Gassi.

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spinfocl Das BMBF fördert freie Programmierer|innen mit 1,2 Mio € prototypefund.de

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SPIEGELCaptions Reformerin Kaiser: Als „Mann für den Angriff“ im Gespräch

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durst Heute muss ich aus dem Gefängnis ausbrechen. Klicke hier, um mir eine Feile in den Kuchen zu backen!

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:40 AM, Aug 2nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Schimpft die Mutter mit dem Kinde / so prägt sie dessen Großhirnrinde / Geht die Lektion vom Vater aus / geht's da hinein und dort hinaus

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durst Selbstbild als ganz großes Kino in dem ganz großes Tennis gezeigt wird.

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texttheater Morgens yogen, abends pogen.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:02 PM, Aug 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

AnaPopescu_SV find that using "comrades" moves the conversation forward - or at least derails it enough that this is not an issue twitter.com/nsaphra/status…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:07 PM, Aug 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

gruenzeug @Lotterleben @lauralindal
HAI
PLZ make me sandwich?
AWSUM THX
VISIBLE "omnomnom :)"
O NOES
INVISIBLE ":("
KTHXBYE

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:02 PM, Aug 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Wenn eine Zoogaststätte Schnitzel und Bockwurst anbietet, hat man dann nicht rückwirkend eine riesige Werbeanlage für Schlachtgut besucht?

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:47 PM, Aug 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

labenzticker Maastricht, der: Vorrichtung zum Befüllen eines Oktoberfest-Bierkruges mit exakt 0,738 Litern Gerstensaft labenz.texttheater.net/Maastricht

via Labenzticker (retweeted on 11:45 AM, Aug 1st, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

SMBCComics Game Theory of Parenting smbc-comics.com/comic/parentin…

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 1:02 AM, Aug 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

NichtRomanHeld (sitzt auf der Couch)

Oh Gott… Ich habe ja Topfpflanzen!

(springt auf)
(stürmt in Bad und Küche)
(trockenes Rascheln und Fluchen)

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 12:44 AM, Aug 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

peterbreuer „Mein Auto ist lauter wie sonst.“
Kommentar 1: Flexrohr
Kommentar 2: als
Kommentar 3: schmeiß weg, kauf neu

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:42 AM, Aug 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)