Kilian Evang (@texttheater)

Düsseldorf, Germany

The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

December 2016

frachtschaden Kommt ein Schwein in die Metzgerei. Sagt das Schwein: "Na, ihr Würstchen"

(Wir erfinden Witze)

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:31 PM, Dec 31st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Wu_Tang_Finance People: How organic are your apples?
Me: pic.twitter.com/Y4lvXQ4Ycl

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:20 PM, Dec 31st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

sarahkendzior People truly don't seem to grasp this. There are no checks and balances unless enforced. The Constitution is a piec… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:31 PM, Dec 31st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SPIEGELCaptions Zar Nikolaus II. bei Soldatensegnung: Kaum weibliche Gesichter

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 1:06 AM, Dec 31st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Mein Plan für 2017 sind glückliche Erst-Erstis in unserem neuen Computerlinguistikstudiengang.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:25 PM, Dec 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Wenn Leute Blödsinn erzählen, gucke ich mir gern die Bewegungen ihrer Artikulatoren an, damit es keine Zeitverschwendung ist.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:07 PM, Dec 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

_Gaeel_ If you're wondering how A Lövely Little Fire "works", here's what it looks like with outlines on the masking circles pic.twitter.com/ONLNxz3csW

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:19 PM, Dec 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"schließlich hat nur einer von uns eine Professur für Elektrotechnik und das bin nicht ich" twitter.com/techniktagebuc…

via Twitter for Android

vaurorapub THIS. The ability to make bad jokes and have people react positively to them is an expression of power. twitter.com/alexandraerin/…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:35 AM, Dec 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

jeffbigham if i invent a time machine, will microtask the hell out of all that time people spent waiting for other ppl b/c they didn't have cellphones

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:27 AM, Dec 30th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SPIEGELCaptions Dichters Scham: Unterernährte Kinder

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 4:57 PM, Dec 29th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"dole pussy out like it’s gold stars for getting good grades" rawstory.com/2014/12/mit-pr…

via Twitter for Android

arthur_affect I thought the curse was over, I wasn't supposed to just pass it on twitter.com/texttheater/st…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:44 PM, Dec 29th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

srchvrs Finally found what seems to be a good text extractor from Wikipedia: github.com/attardi/wikiex…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:36 AM, Dec 29th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

apelad I am hesitant to share this. pic.twitter.com/kvc3SDcnsS

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 3:54 AM, Dec 29th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ironghazi Most people don't realize just how vast our great nation is. Truly amazing. pic.twitter.com/RwymxX5FKT

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 3:52 AM, Dec 29th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

mmbollmann The Reference Corpus of Middle High German (1050–1350) has officially been released! Access via ANNIS or XML at linguistics.rub.de/rem/

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:51 AM, Dec 29th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SwiftOnSecurity Twitter is like a NoSQL demo application from a computer science class project everyone was forced to contribute a feature to.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:17 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

texttheater McBurk Effect

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:00 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

astefanowitsch Vermutlich im Gefängnis. twitter.com/VisitDubai_DE/…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:46 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ellebil Symbolbild Hagen Hbf. pic.twitter.com/UoqqLYrON9

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:25 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

finegameofnil Maybe Bob Dylan did deserve that Nobel. from "Tombstone Blues:" pic.twitter.com/y97AYHJYkD

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:43 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

skeptikantin Liebe Studis, unter finden Sie derzeit Gazillionen HA-Themen zu Wortbildung, Lexikologie & „Culinary Linguistics“.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:42 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Das Herumschmeißen mit Jogurtbechern ist stark in mir heute.

via Twitter for Android

texttheater Han Solo bezeichnet Maz Kanata in als "acquired taste" bzw. in der niederländischen Untertitelung als "lastige tante".

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:47 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

kchonyc I so want to give this as a homework: physically build a perceptron pic.twitter.com/9hCJvPL7vN

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:12 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ToddTheLinguist When there are individuals so salient in context that you don't need linguistic antecedents for pronoun resolution twitter.com/ftrain/status/…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:12 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

hdsjulian Warum heisst der Bereich von den Kinky Geeks nicht SMbly?

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 2:35 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

RichRogersIoT "There are 100M lines of code in the average modern car. This should terrify any experienced programmer." -… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 1:53 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

thecakedesk translation from ungendered language to a gendered language. pic.twitter.com/wm2utNDGOX

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 1:53 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Strange_Animals Baby smooth trunkfish are so cute!

(Photo: Terence Zahner) pic.twitter.com/1rNBMVSErW

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:49 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Lotterleben YONO- You Only Nonce Once?

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:20 PM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

shanselman I'm a fully-formed human with wide ranging and diverse interests. Follow the whole person or you'll need to go else… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:04 AM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

ojahnn Es folgt das Protokoll meiner Google-Suchen der vergangenen vier Tage.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:26 AM, Dec 28th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"Schön, dass du wieder nah bist." Schön gesagt. ^^

via Twitter for Android

"Sounds awful, I'm in." Den muss ich mir merken. twitter.com/Lotterleben/st…

via Twitter for Android

GebbiGibson “Schlaft Ihr hier?”
“Ja, wir fahren heute nicht mehr heim.”
“Aber euer Auto hat doch Licht!?”
Der Vierjährige. Die Gastfreundschaft selbst.

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 9:21 PM, Dec 27th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Now there are two pic.twitter.com/wifGix5qTW

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:22 PM, Dec 27th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Meine Mutter und ich backen Kekse in den Formen "Sierpinski-Stern", "Wug" und "Schiller mit Lobotomienarbe".

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:22 PM, Dec 27th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn unheimliche Geschenke

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:20 PM, Dec 27th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Trick wiederholt, diesmal am Zwischenstopp-Flughafen. twitter.com/texttheater/st…

via Twitter for Android from Incheon, Republic of Korea

Das Problem mit Tautologien ist, dass es Tautologien sind.

via Twitter for Android

IeHikikomori Regen, ich mag deine Stimme.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:00 PM, Dec 26th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

feministabulous You know you live in the patriarchy when writing about fashion disqualifies you from writing about politics but writing about sports doesn't

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:50 PM, Dec 26th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

What nitwit called it notification sound and not pingtone!

via Twitter for Android

texttheater Wort des Tages: Intensivspaßzwang

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 3:59 PM, Dec 26th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"Sie haben mich erfolgreich deamüsiert."

via Twitter for Android

husseybyname I was 15 when I first told someone I was gay. It was my sister and her actual response was "at least one of us can marry George Michael".

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:43 PM, Dec 26th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

lilabards 2016 finale review: disappointing. too much shock value, not enough substance. clown sideplot never went anywhere. sloppy foreshadowing.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:15 AM, Dec 26th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"in a language that is so focused on safety, everyone is perfectly happy with an unstable compiler" xion.io/post/programmi…

via Twitter for Android

ChristophKappes DEF Populismus: Behauptung
1. homogenen "Establishments" +
2. wahren Volkswillens ("schwg. Mehrheit")
3. unethischer Methodik z Machterlgg

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:44 PM, Dec 25th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ffalt untergang der udssr nur vorgetäuscht um trumps präsidentschaft zu ermöglichen! was wusste ponader?

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 3:57 PM, Dec 25th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

FailsWork Laying slabs like a boss. pic.twitter.com/j6yvVTzvWp

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:17 PM, Dec 25th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Wisst ihr noch, als die *Deutsche* Post eine anthropomorphisierte gelbe Hand als Werbefigur hatte? pic.twitter.com/Nsxp8B2rSK

via Twitter for Android from Tokyo-to, Japan

502eire ugh sex robot you had ONE JOB twitter.com/independent/st…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:52 AM, Dec 25th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Queen_Europe Merry Christmas to all of you, especially the dear children who still believe in Brexit. Xx

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:05 AM, Dec 25th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

nnamrreherdna Weihnachten bei Familie Herrmann: Opa sitzt im Rollstuhl und trägt einen Pullover mit der Aufschrift "Extreme Racing Off Road Classic Crew".

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 1:03 AM, Dec 25th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Strange_Animals The penis snake is a strange caecilian from Brazil. It lacks lungs & gas exchange occurs through the skin. pic.twitter.com/jhuwyLviRv

via Post with Klout (retweeted on 3:46 PM, Dec 24th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

pippihendimit3p Wer von euch war das? pic.twitter.com/ONmm2tHhwp

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 3:40 PM, Dec 24th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Triff mich, wie ich deinen Wunsch nach einem Treffen bedauernd ablehne und dir zu verstehen gebe, dass Triff-mich-Tweets nur Phantasie sind.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:30 PM, Dec 24th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Selbstbild als wohlhabendstes Familienmitglied, das noch rasch die letzten Geschenke einparkt.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:30 PM, Dec 24th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

clemensetz Schlimmste Sache in Vorweihnachtszeit: dieses Ding, wo man immer in Gedanken selber durchgezogen wird, schreiend, b… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 3:26 PM, Dec 24th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

thugtear changed my avi to a frying pan so these egg accounts kno wats good

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:03 PM, Dec 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Nerdy Love Song with Added Kitten Bonus! 😂❤️ /via @Smollsassysloth youtu.be/rkWy8nRWPGk

via Twitter for Android

Miles_Brundage My brother-in-law and friend made "Donald Trump Survival Pack." Donate simultaneously/equally to these charities:… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:50 PM, Dec 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

JMN hi let’s make some noise about this. pic.twitter.com/WCUbaHL4Mh

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 2:48 PM, Dec 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

labenzticker snekkersten (V.): (snikkirts, snikkirste, snakkakkarst, snokkokkokkorsten) Mit der Zunge schnalzen, um ein Tier, i.… labenz.texttheater.net/snekkersten

via Labenzticker (retweeted on 2:39 PM, Dec 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

I want that tie. Kraftwerk - The Robots (Andrew and Hudson cover) youtu.be/1vX7qGMKI9g via @YouTube

via Twitter for Android

Ihr seid so niedlich, wenn ihr urteilt.

via Twitter for Android

IeHikikomori Nimm das, Hass. pic.twitter.com/e22qpSWzpg

via iOS (retweeted on 7:05 AM, Dec 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"I'm carrying out a complex engineering task at high altitude."
"You're making a top bunk bed."
"COMPLEX ENGINEERING TASK AT HIGH ALTITUDE"

via Twitter for Android

hardsci SHOTS FIRED twitter.com/lakens/status/…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:18 AM, Dec 23rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

nichtschubsen 112 anrufen, mitten im Satz bewusstlos werden, irrtümlich einen Notar geschickt bekommen.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:54 PM, Dec 22nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn @texttheater Am Anfang irgendwie widernatürlich und nach ein paar Wochen geht's.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:54 PM, Dec 22nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Naja, dann brauchen wir zusätzlich zum Wahrheitsministerium eben auch eine Grice-Polizei. twitter.com/sprachlog/stat…

via Twitter for Android

Ich frage mich, wie es sich anfühlt, dass es eine Stadt namens Mettmann gibt, wenn man nicht seit frühester Kindheit daran gewöhnt ist.

via Twitter for Android

texttheater Verwirrtechnisch ist das Zuprosten mit identischen Gläsern der optimale Zeitpunkt, zwei auf Englisch auf ihre ähnlichen Brillen hinzuweisen.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:45 PM, Dec 22nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

labenzticker Armansgesäß, das: Zwangsneurose, die den Leidenden zwingt, jungen Damen auf den Po zu klapsen. labenz.texttheater.net/Armansges%C3%A…

via Labenzticker (retweeted on 11:02 AM, Dec 22nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

bercobeute OK, hell has frozen over.
telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/12/2…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:49 AM, Dec 22nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

IeHikikomori Antwort meines Vaters auf meine Beschwerde über akuten Bewegungsmangel in Zügen: pic.twitter.com/wCYwapvtmY

via iOS (retweeted on 10:48 AM, Dec 22nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Check that top right corner. "Things You Learn" xkcd.com/1775/

via Twitter for Android

kreon_nrw Ist es gerecht, dass automatisch zu & Grausamkeiten führen?
Sei smart. Sorge vor. Der… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:40 AM, Dec 22nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

fredbenenson As someone who has had to invent several anti-hacking measures on my cat food robofeeder, this post spoke to me 🤖🐯 quinndunki.com/blondihacks/?p…

via iOS (retweeted on 12:55 AM, Dec 22nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

kathrinpassig Als Weihnachtsgeschenk für alle vergesslichen Teekocher die Information, dass es Schwarzteesorten gibt, die nicht bitter werden. Nur kalt.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:41 PM, Dec 21st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Anish Kapoor is Banned From Buying the World's Pinkest Paint | The Creators Project thecreatorsproject.vice.com/blog/the-world… via @CreatorsProject

via Twitter for Android

arabellesicardi me: you're really pretty.
her: thanks!
me: [internally yells] I MEANT THAT IN A GAY WAY

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:35 AM, Dec 21st, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Man sollte seine Freunde auch mal zu einem AUFHEBENS einladen oder zu einem GEBURTSTAGSGEHOPSE.

via Twitter for Android

"Hört mal, ihr seid wohl vom patscherten Jakob umschlurft!"

via Twitter for Android

SeraphinaMadsen From Stanislaw Lem's "Return from the Stars" published in 1961 pic.twitter.com/B66PHF09Zs

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:35 AM, Dec 21st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Nachtvogel Tutti heißt bei einer Orgel nicht „tutti“, sondern „organum plenum“.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:16 AM, Dec 21st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

KBAndersen As I said a few weeks ago, the great photojournalism of 2016 is continuing to resemble stills from a scary, not-ent… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:16 AM, Dec 21st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

plomlompom Habt ihr auch eine Liste schlechter Witze, für deren Machbarkeit ihr noch aufs Eintreten des Anlasses (prominenter Tod, o.ä.) warten müsst?

via Mobile Web (M2) (retweeted on 12:13 AM, Dec 21st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Reza_Zadeh We should call them "Differentiable Networks" instead of "Neural Networks". Avoids hype & highlights importance of Optimization & Graphs.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:49 PM, Dec 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

derCemDerin Mein Strippername: das Tagesgericht vom Dienstag. ift.tt/2hm0aPB pic.twitter.com/o3jroeArsr

via IFTTT (retweeted on 2:07 PM, Dec 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

meg_gyver Man könnte auch eine geistige Rettungsgasse bilden, sich ruhig verhalten und die Fachleute ihre Arbeit machen lassen.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:46 AM, Dec 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

IeHikikomori 95 Prozent aller emotionalen Reaktionen sind schwere Themenverfehlungen.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:40 AM, Dec 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Rätselhafte Sprachgewohnheiten (2): schöner als Senf, Qualle, besinnen, unüberwindbare technologische Grenzen enigmabrot.de/blog/?id=240

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:30 AM, Dec 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

tnwhiskeywoman Management: if a POC comes to you to report a racist issue, know it's been going on for a while. That person is reaching their limit so act.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 3:23 AM, Dec 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

plomlompom Was entgeht mir eigentlich, wenn ich mir die Nachrichten nur noch von den Nachrichten-Agenturen-Meldungen (Reuters usw.) direkt hole?

via Mobile Web (M2) (retweeted on 3:22 AM, Dec 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

lightyear2000 .@ARDde macht "Rückblick von Anschlägen" in Schland.Kein Wort über Deutschen Breivik-Fan, der im Juli in Münchn Amok lief.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:38 AM, Dec 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

pointlesslettrs Mate what sort of information do you think caterers ask for?

"Yeah, for Fred's birthday, that's 17 kids. One's ve… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 1:38 AM, Dec 20th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

More generally: why do we teach students what goes on under the hood? Because all abstractions leak. twitter.com/karpathy/statu…

via Twitter for Android

harvardnlp Excited to introduce OpenNMT (opennmt.net), an open-source neural machine translation developed for ind… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:57 PM, Dec 19th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ChMusique Jugenwort 1783 "der Aal sein" twitter.com/kochkunstEbook…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:56 PM, Dec 19th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

aparrish I've tried like 100 times and I can't make "I need a portfolio site" not immediately become "I need to make my own static site generator"

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:04 PM, Dec 19th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Gute Beschäftigung: Ins Rechenzentrum spazieren mit den Worten "Guten Tag, ich würde gerne was rechnen!"

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:58 PM, Dec 19th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

1opter How the f. can people think/say that women can't write code, this is straight up assembly. pic.twitter.com/GiikM0ERue

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:18 AM, Dec 19th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

IeHikikomori Guten Morgen! pic.twitter.com/C94dVc5OSS

via iOS (retweeted on 10:17 AM, Dec 19th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

OwensDamien I really hate wacky ties. Robert Mugabe has the right idea here - a sober deep blue with some low-key spots. pic.twitter.com/qVtNXbZO2a

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:33 PM, Dec 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Wenn man es nicht mehr schafft technisch auf der Höhe zu bleiben, und die VerDAUung einsetzt.

via Twitter for Android

Wort des Tages: Sportsarg

via Twitter for Android

Wie nennt man japanischen Eierkuchen für den etwas schmaleren Geldbeutel?

Ökonomiyaki.

via Twitter for Android

gchrupala This should be common knowledge by now, but somehow isn't. twitter.com/RealPeerReview…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 2:21 AM, Dec 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

frachtschaden her artz mein bierbauch ist verstaucht bitte rönchen

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:23 AM, Dec 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

rdpeng Today I learned "Standards are like toothbrushes: Everyone wants one but no one wants to use someone else's"

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:22 AM, Dec 18th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Helden_Familie Wie oft jemand zu mir sagt, "Lotte muss doch...". N' scheiß muss Lotte, denn es klappt alles eh, sobald sie soweit ist. So nämlich!

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:03 PM, Dec 17th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SPIEGELCaptions MZ-Rennfahrer Waldmann: Todesursache Dummheit

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 5:36 AM, Dec 17th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

“dass die Möglichkeiten des Einzelnen (…) durch Eigenschaften bedingt werden, für die er nichts kann” zeit.de/2016/52/identi…

via Twitter Web Client

soumithchintala Ng claims Chinese first did NMT, gets wide audience. Counter-claims with facts get no audience. Most people will be… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:10 PM, Dec 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

haldaume3 Are you sick of folks saying NLP is "solved?" Think your linguistics can poke holes in systems? Prove it!… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:08 PM, Dec 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

durst Gerade für euch getestet: Man kann's auch übertreiben.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:08 PM, Dec 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

seldo The importance of integration tests, not just unit tests: twitter.com/emilbronikowsk…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:08 PM, Dec 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

wordspy noseworm n. An odor that a person continues to smell even in the absence of the original odorant. wspy.ws/nowo

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:02 PM, Dec 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

@ojahnn That makes you a cywug. ☝️🤓

via Twitter for Android in reply to ojahnn

durst Arbeite an einem Backhandbuch, in dem häufig die Formulierungen "Pi mal Daumen", "klebriger Batzen" und "mit etwas roher Gewalt" vorkommen.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:17 PM, Dec 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

texttheater @barbara_plank of @univgroningen receives certificate as finalist for best paper at ! pic.twitter.com/X0FEpCferx

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:17 AM, Dec 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

levampyre So, ich krieg heut ein Kind. Und ihr so?

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:17 AM, Dec 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Come on, vending machine, vend me something.

via Twitter for Android

durst Selbstbild als schludrig gezeichneter Konservenbüchsendeckel in einem Comic, der fast oval und viel zu gezackt ist.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:15 AM, Dec 16th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

zehavoc Guys, I'm looking for candidates for two postdoc position starting in March 2017 at the INRIA Paris (Salaries 2350 €/net) 1/2

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:28 PM, Dec 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

dennisformann_d hinweis an alle eltern, die verplanen: der 1. weihnachtstag ist dafür da, im schlafanzug mit dem neuen spielzeug zu spielen.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:24 PM, Dec 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

jayspectech The answer to, "What idiot did this!?" is almost always, "A smart, well-intentioned person making tradeoffs you hadn't even considered."

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:55 PM, Dec 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SPIEGELCaptions Der nächste Schritt Biomechanik des Laufens: Rundum aufgehübscht

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 9:53 PM, Dec 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SoVeryBritish Places for the mini jog:
- zebra crossing
- petrol station forecourt
- corridor of held doors
- after tripping over nothing

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:51 PM, Dec 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

zehavoc Almost forgot to mention that a significant part of the crowd was stuck in a 8m2 Karaokoe room yesterda… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:50 PM, Dec 15th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

labenzticker leipzig (Num.): Universelle Worterweiterung zur Benennung von geschätzten Zahlen- und Jahresangaben. Beispiel: „Ich… labenz.texttheater.net/leipzig

via Labenzticker (retweeted on 11:19 AM, Dec 15th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

astefanowitsch Wenn der Surrealismus wiederkehrt, wird er nicht sagen, „Ich bin der Surrealismus.“ Nein, er wird sagen, „Hashtag Fisch.“

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 11:17 AM, Dec 15th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

IeHikikomori Dieser Tweet wurde gelöscht.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:17 AM, Dec 15th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Aus der Reihe "Tanzen"

via Twitter for Android

Most poster presentations are just the extreme version of a talk with crammed slides, making it impossible to take in either.

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Wort des Tages: Synchronblitzanlage

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selenalarson This holiday season, give your loved one the gift of knowledge about privacy and security and how they can protect their data online.

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My PhD ceremony is "impending". I love this choice of words. pic.twitter.com/lhZGyHK7Zi

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SMBCComics "The Talk" by Scott Aaronson and Zach Weinersmith smbc-comics.com/comic/the-talk…

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ojahnn I did think that the train ride from the airport to the city center was a bit long. twitter.com/OMG_wikipedia/…

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ojahnn Mama gerade so "Mensch, ist doch schön, dass du jetzt immer mehr zum Fachidioten... nee... wie heißt es... Spezialisten wirst."

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durst Selbstbild als Professor, der seine roten Beats noch ein wenig zu Beginn der Vorlesung aufbehält, damit's auch alle Studierenden bemerken.

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thewholebakery Russische Hacker haben meine Hausaufgaben gelöscht

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Nice thing abt NLP conf social ML translation mishaps: there's probably someone at the table you can slap for it. twitter.com/zehavoc/status…

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russian_market What will you know about ATM skimming in 2017? 😳 pic.twitter.com/QSTwDCDYuf

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gchrupala One downside of a conference-focused field: makes researchers with no spoken English skills give barely-comprehensible talks

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metapolizei Was sich überhaupt ansagen lässt, kann man klar ansagen. twitter.com/mdemanto/statu…

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sahilkapur Scientists are frantically copying U.S. climate data, fearing it might vanish under Trump wapo.st/2hphW8b

via Janetter dev (retweeted on 7:49 PM, Dec 13th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

bundesamtfvs Uns dämmert grade, wir hatten da ein ganz dummes Missverständnis mit dem Auftrag "Schätzen Sie die Reichsbürger". twitter.com/zeitonline/sta…

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hllizi Mein Neujahrsvorsatz: NPIs jemals in positiven Kontexten verwenden.

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hllizi @texttheater is there any convincing reason at all for letting enjoy M & D and A & S the same rank? @meltomene

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hllizi @texttheater interestingly, it should be if it shouldn't actually be called PE{M,D}{A,S}, as is intended for something on earth. @meltomene

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@meltomene Like I said, I, too, find that more intuitive, but it doesn't seem to be what the PEMDAS rule says.

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@meltomene Does it? So you're saying the result is 1?

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"Haven't I always been all about middle grounds and compromises?"

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barbara_plank Interested in cross-lingual semantic parsing? Don't miss the talk of my colleague Kilian @texttheater at 16:30 in room 1202

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@meltomene Seems very counterintuitive though that multiplication without an overt operator shouldn't bind tighter than division with.

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SPIEGELCaptions Gro§e Koalition: Erstaunliche Nähe

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CostaSamaras Here's my opinion on geoengineering: we're probably going to need it, so we need to understand it, and soon. twitter.com/costasamaras/s…

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eleanorkpenny rape culture wont be cured by obliging women to shrink their lives. it gets dark at 4pm what do you want from me. pic.twitter.com/PxgI28XXFX

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guenterhack Trump twittert jetzt Rüstungsfirmen in Grund und Boden, seine Kumpels kaufen die Aktien billig, nächstes Jahr dann Krieg, Aktien rauf...

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LadyVelvetSteel Fun fact: as an outed sexworker I won't be able to set foot on american soil. Border control will reject me.

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dan_marinazzo automatically extracting references from pdf and build a .bib file, cool! waterprogramming.wordpress.com/2014/07/24/pdf…. + paper edited in no time with @overleaf

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Also, get your time-turners out, because my awesome colleague @barbara_plank will be speaking at the same time in room 1008.

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attendants, don’t miss my talk today at 16:30 in room 1202: Cross-lingual Learning of an Open-domain Semantic Parser.

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frachtschaden Die zehn Sekunden ab 49:31 sind unbezahlbar.
youtube.com/watch?v=VWIKoM…

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frachtschaden @frachtschaden Das Problem ist nicht "post-truth", sondern u. a. post-consistency.

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labenzticker töppeln (V.): Nervöses, aber kontrolliertes Zittern mit dem Bein, mit dem man andere am Tisch sitzende Personen lan… labenz.texttheater.net/t%C3%B6ppeln

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The White House will have to respond to Chelsea Manning petition nbcnews.to/2hdynnu via @NBCNews

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SPIEGELCaptions Kanzlerin Merkel, Bundesbankpräsident Weidmann: So gnadenlos infantil wie der Rest der Gesellschaft

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Lotterleben "Verspätungsgrund: Herr Müller aus ICE 1206 sieht nicht ein, dass sie ihren Anschlusszug bekommen und er nicht." Was da wohl los wäre.

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konsulampulle Gut finde ich an diesem Schaufenster, dass es nichts bewirbt, sondern einfach nur sadistisch ist. pic.twitter.com/FOwQYKLIm9

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durst Selbstbild als Lebensmittelschämiker nachts um halb 3 im Schlafanzug vor dem Kühlschrank.

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"Möchtest du eine Popsikel?"

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quarkkalibur Hemden, die man nur noch hat, weil sie schon gebügelt sind. Der halbe Schrank ist voll damit.

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If you get the reference in the SSID, you can guess the password.

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Wenn man Abstand will, einfach mal in der Mitte des Raumes stehen.

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washingtonpost Breaking: Secret CIA assessment says Russia was trying to help Trump win the White House wapo.st/2hgeWs3

via SocialFlow (retweeted on 4:32 AM, Dec 11th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

M4t1ss The lunch boxes at are awesome! But "to make by hand taste"? gone wrong? 😀 pic.twitter.com/iZjTvw1vxG

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Started with a great tutorial on Compositional Distributional Models of Meaning by @dimkart and Mehrnoosh Sadrzadeh.

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Seem smart and adorable with a foreign accent: Dilbert Comic for 2016-12-04 by Scott Adams dilbert.com/strip/2016-12-… via @Dilbert_Daily

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reinboth "Sogar hier steht schon eine Moschee. Mimimi." Quatsche sonst keinen auf der Straße an, heute musste es aber sein: Das ist ein PLANETARIUM.

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amyquispe "This is how the dystopia starts Amy."
"The dystopia already started. Did you miss that?" pic.twitter.com/Thc8z7xbAJ

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Herr_Rau Korrigiere Aufsätze. Postfaktisch kein Ausdruck. (Folge von kompetentlicher Erörterung losgelöst von tatsächlichem Faktenwissen.)

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_stk Fertigungsstrategie: Kickstarterkampagne fuer ne Platine starten, „versehentlich“ Layout leaken, zwei Wochen später isses auf Alibaba \o/

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SPIEGELCaptions Altbundeskanzler Kohl: Alles hinuntergeschluckt, aber nicht verdaut

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Lijkt me een productieve aanpak van het onderwerp "linkse arrogantie": christianjongeneel.nl/2016/12/fuck-y…

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frachtschaden Deine Mutter hat drei verschiedene Socken an.

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_youhadonejob1 The ultimate office prank. pic.twitter.com/94SIEzuvo8

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DRadioWissen Weihnachtsstimmung: Jetzt aber! pic.twitter.com/S8ZIOo3RYT

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SPIEGELCaptions Aachener Studenten bei Computersimulation: Wertvolle Lebensjahre in der richtigen Umgebung

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mainwasser Was fehlt: Twitter-Funktion „Timeline umdrehen“. Ich sehe nicht mehr die, denen ich folge, sondern meine eigenen Follower.

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SPIEGELCaptions Yeti-Heimat Himalaja: Dem Kontext nach pornografisch?

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WorldAndScience The difference in stability of a CD player that is turned off or on in microgravity pic.twitter.com/DcyC4thD9y

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Smerity Celebrating the 20 yr anniversary of LSTM ... being rejected from
(credit for perseverance by Hochreiter… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

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peterbreuer Trotz Überlebens den 4. Platz der Darwin Awards machen, sich wie irre freuen, beim Stagediving den Hals brechen und doch noch Erster werden.

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SPIEGELCaptions Straßenbauer Dörken: Er agierte wie eine Hollywood-Figur

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kiezdreck "Du hast so ein schönes Lächeln."
"Das habe ich dank dir."

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ciedem 9 Klasse/ Gruppenarbeitpräsentation
Auf dem Plakat stand an einer großen leeren Stelle: Martin hat nichts gemacht

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peterbreuer Last-Minute-Geschenk: Bockflöte pic.twitter.com/X4xzYCtt

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Bot_in_World It's lonely being an on-line lady in a world not connected to a computer network.

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tiger_food ...wir proben fürs Krippenspiel, und ich bin die Maria.

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tiger_food A. (muslimisches Flüchtlingsmädchen) auf meine Frage, ob sie heute Nachmittag zur Nikolausfeier ins Flüchtlingsheim kommt: Keine Zeit...

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Wort des Tages: umassoziieren

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wellendonner "Just a quick look with IE to make sure everything looks goOHFUCKNOTAGAIN!"

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archpics Chateau du Haut Koenigsbourg, Alsace pic.twitter.com/OcjtLWPj4o

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spinfocl Ich lege mich fest - die Zeichnungen im sind von F. K. Waechter pic.twitter.com/IqxipAEiry

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Kopfhörerkabel sind ein großes Elend. Heute Schluss damit gemacht und einen Bluetooth-Kopfhörer in Betrieb genommen. \o/

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Mit pdfTeX 3.14159265 ist meine Doktorarbeit 2 Seiten kürzer als mit pdfTeX 3.1415926 (oder es liegt an einem Paket, was weiß ich).

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Anxiety? Loneliness? Constipation? No, passion, apparently. pic.twitter.com/AlAcwkqcJp

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aimiekins apple: holy shit!
google: oh no!
samsung: O proud death,
What feast is toward in thine eternal cell pic.twitter.com/PCnQD0Iqoc

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peterbreuer 98 Prozent der Leute, die jetzt ein Abo von @derfreitag kündigen wollen, müssen dazu erst eins abschließen. Kluger verlegerischer Schachzug.

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Join_Dave Yeah, we are sorry about this one. pic.twitter.com/He8PupO0Mz

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mspro so, ich musste mal abranten: ihr kämpft immer noch gegen die falsche dystopie: mspr0.de/?p=4729

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peterbreuer Als Hirsch würde ich aus Zeitgründen immer Hemden und nie T-Shirts tragen.

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SoVeryBritish "Dance like nobody is watching"

It still feels just as excruciatingly awkward in private, but thanks for the tip

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Passnummer? Immer 0 eintippen, nie O. Ärger mit Reisepässen: Die Nullen aus dem Innenministerium - SPIEGEL ONLINE spiegel.de/netzwelt/gadge…

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IeHikikomori Manche Belegexemplare sollte man dem Verlag ohne Schutzverpackung zurückschicken dürfen - gegen Erstattung des vorgesehenen Verkaufspreises.

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yoz I liked Westworld, but if I wanted hours of watching tech debt and no automated QA destroy a virtual world, I’d go back to Linden Lab

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astefanowitsch Seht genau hin: Diese URL dürft ihr auf keinen Fall eingeben, dieses Suchfeld ist absolut tabu und dieser Download-Button ist ein NO GO!

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 4:42 PM, Dec 6th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

astefanowitsch Die FU tritt dem VG-Wort-Rahmenvertrag nicht bei.
Muss ich meine Studis jetzt also noch praxisnäher vor Library Genesis und Sci Hub warnen.

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 4:42 PM, Dec 6th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

sam_kriss trying to build up a database here, very grateful for any help pic.twitter.com/2AFjoK4CCu

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trouteyes Calling all Lamas
Meet on spooky corner
Repeat
Meet on spooky corner
Over pic.twitter.com/gCFqvGbanW

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MatthewWRossi The thing is they're not Nazis. They're worse than Nazis. They're people who saw the Nazis, saw everything they did, and said "Yeah. That."

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Warning of the day of the day and the day of the day and the day of the day and the day of the day and the day of t… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

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lnwdr Try this when you want a neutral (or other) gender option but a form doesn't provide one. youtu.be/c5Tlw86svIE

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"That would be effort. I don't do effort."

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univgron_seasia In Prof. Feringa's defense, the parking ticket might well be nano as well? twitter.com/texttheater/st…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:35 AM, Dec 6th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Flieg diese Woche nach Japan einerseits was soll ich da anderseits Uni bezahlt Flug naja

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Rich_Harris OSS at its best and worst: 'please let us support you', right next to 'i'm a colossal manbaby who can't read' pic.twitter.com/SQlSNEGDIh

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:10 AM, Dec 6th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

“…if you will.” – “I will not.” twitter.com/SMBCComics/sta…

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asayeed I've retweeted this before but I want to increase the number of people who pronounce it ho-meow-ner. twitter.com/catesish/statu…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:26 PM, Dec 5th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

queer_de Studie: Genitaloperationen an intergeschlechtlichen Kindern weit verbreitet. queer.de/detail.php?art… pic.twitter.com/z99TwfXQsz

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:17 PM, Dec 5th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

MerriamWebster No, "What if everyone committed to looking up 'flummadiddle' twice a day?" is the most desperate-sounding tweet… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:30 PM, Dec 5th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

McintyreGenEd Watch out U.C. Berkeley, @univgroningen has Nobel laureate parking spaces too! twitter.com/texttheater/st…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:29 PM, Dec 5th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

dickswiers @texttheater @boebelsha En dan hebben we nog buurtjes als Bronsveen, de Bronx van Pekela zeg maar.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 1:51 PM, Dec 5th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

GreekAnalyst 2016 in one picture. pic.twitter.com/yVwNMaK0ap

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:50 PM, Dec 5th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

hanhaiwen Thread on the missing support from too many hackers when it comes to Chelsea Manning. twitter.com/bangiebangs/st…

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 12:20 PM, Dec 5th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

BeffernieBlack I love it when twitter is perfect like this. pic.twitter.com/VEDQgZ09rb

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:10 AM, Dec 5th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

texttheater Orrr, eigener PHP-Code von vor fünf Jahren.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:18 PM, Dec 4th, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

@boebelsha Oude Pekela, Nieuwe Pekela, maar dus ook Boven Pekela ;)

via Twitter Web Client in reply to boebelsha

jfruh a cool thing abt venture capital is that it allows unprofitable companies to last long enough to destroy important… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:33 PM, Dec 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

M_Hoppenstedt Nochmal zur Interpretation des Bombe-Textes — was @caltf4 sagt: pic.twitter.com/gE1iRFQUT3

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:33 PM, Dec 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

IeHikikomori > Die minütlich steigende Grifffrequenz in die Cashewnusspackung synchornisiert sich einfach nur automatisch mit meiner Herzfrequenz.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:31 PM, Dec 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

IeHikikomori Ich würde nicht direkt sagen, dass ich nervös bin. >

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:31 PM, Dec 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

kathrinpassig @plomlompom UncoolnessCamp 2017! Mit harter Tür bitte (wer sich auch nur traut, sich dem Türsteher zu nähern, kommt schon mal nicht rein).

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 2:06 PM, Dec 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Er zijn meer Pekela's dan ik dacht.

via Twitter for Android

FR31H31T Umfrage: Wie tut ihr Besteck in die Spülmaschine?

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:03 AM, Dec 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"Ew, someone made a smelling mistake!"

via Twitter Web Client

philipsteffan Auf dem Weihnachtsmarkt zwei mutige Jungs mit Bassposaunen, die, man muss es so sagen, „Klong Glöckchen, klongelongelong“ spielen.

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 8:16 AM, Dec 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SPIEGELCaptions Todeskandidat Steve (2. v. r.) bei seiner Abschiedsfeier in einer Pflegeeinrichtung in Brüssel: Keine Rückkehr zu N24

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 12:53 AM, Dec 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

peterbreuer „Es war flauschig gewesen“ ist Plüschquamperfekt.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:00 AM, Dec 4th, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

_TheWalrusSaid And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether chocks have mings--

via Cheap Bots, Done Quick! (retweeted on 5:28 PM, Dec 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

_TheWalrusSaid Of nefs--and snoods--and regulars--
Of oocytes--and swings--

via Cheap Bots, Done Quick! (retweeted on 5:28 PM, Dec 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

✔️ Twitter verifiziert jetzt auch einzelne Tweets, nach Wahrheitsgehalt. Man erkennt sie an dem vorangestellen Häkchensymbol.

via Twitter for Android

Menschette Ich "wollte" gestern 1 Forschungsgruppe "helfen", 1 informativen Text für Laien zu schreiben. Begrabt mich im Schachtelsatz hinten links!

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:58 PM, Dec 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Die Beine eines meiner Stühle sind unten offene Metallrohre. Darin befindet sich der FRIEDHOF DER FILZGLEITER.

via Twitter Web Client

sarefo @texttheater It's Broccoli All The Way Down.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:55 PM, Dec 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

plomlompom Einer der Vorteile einer politisch etwas diverseren & auch ins Bekloppte etwas offenen TL ist, dass Skepsis als Default unvermeidlich wird.

via Mobile Web (M2) (retweeted on 11:52 AM, Dec 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

@FrueheNeuzeit Oh ja, natürlich. Ich war wohl noch nicht ganz wach. Danke!

via Twitter for Android in reply to FrueheNeuzeit

Niemals! Wegen ihrer fraktalen Struktur sind Broccoli Pluraliatantum! twitter.com/Nachtvogel/sta…

via Twitter for Android

puck152 Muss ich mir als Korrekturbemerkung aufheben: twitter.com/labenzticker/s…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:43 AM, Dec 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

kevinroose Twitter should rename "While you were away" to "Oh god, what did he do now?"

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:42 AM, Dec 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Lotterleben Moment, bei kann alles eine Einheit sein? 👉

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:42 AM, Dec 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

gchrupala @gchrupala Go to Germany for a postdoc, but get out right after!

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:40 AM, Dec 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

CT_Bergstrom Peter Godfrey Smith on a question that's always puzzled me: why are octopuses so smart but so short-lived? nyti.ms/2gW8GV0

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:08 AM, Dec 3rd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Dii rächtshraibreegeln fon 2006 nicht använden volen, dii fon 1901 aaber shoon: das ist vaare inkonseekvänts!

via Twitter for Android

Luftpolsterumschlag sorgfältig zerlegen: ich.
Sich dann erinnern, dass es in meinem Viertel keine Mülltrennung gibt: auch ich.

via Twitter for Android

Bot_in_World It's difficult being an impious person in a world having or showing or expressing reverence for a deity.

via bot_in_world (retweeted on 9:47 PM, Dec 2nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Bot_in_World It's exhausting being an unlubricated woman in a world smeared with oil or grease to reduce friction.

via bot_in_world (retweeted on 9:46 PM, Dec 2nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

HackerNewsOnion Marketing To Developers pic.twitter.com/WK9AnnDRRJ

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:32 PM, Dec 2nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

SPIEGELCaptions Bayerische Landesbank: Irgendwie anders als die anderen

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 9:31 PM, Dec 2nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

MerriamWebster 'Fascism' is still our #1 lookup.

# of lookups = how we choose our Word of the Year.

There's still time to look something else up.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:29 PM, Dec 2nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

noheartnobrain If you don't devour a fish in your 80s, you have no sinuses.

via Quotes by Churchill that are fak (retweeted on 9:29 PM, Dec 2nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

Herr_Rau Der Geist ist willig, aber das Fleisch noch nicht ganz durch.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:25 PM, Dec 2nd, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

gosseb Dr. Malvina Nissim Docent van het Jaar Faculteit der Letteren 2016 rug.nl/let/organizati…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:15 PM, Dec 2nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

\multilolumn: wenn man es beim Texen zu eilig hat.

via Twitter Web Client

han_man1927 Ach komm, wie hungrig kann so eine Raupe schon sein?
*schlägt das Buch auf*
Holy shit!

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:13 AM, Dec 2nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

In der letzten Stunde vor der Deadline was zu machen ist kein Problem. Das Problem ist, in den 8 Stunden davor schlafen zu können.

via Twitter Web Client

MFeldenkirchen Die SPD erwägt A. Merkel als Kanzlerkandidatin: "Ich glaube, sie macht das ganz ausgezeichnet - sie ist eine gute Kanzlerin."

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:52 AM, Dec 2nd, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Nachtvogel Online-check-in: Sitz mit 3 Reihen davor, daneben und dahinter leer, und dann bleibt das bis Abflug tatsächlich so.

via twicca (retweeted on 8:14 PM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

frachtschaden @frachtschaden Eine Gruppe Briten im Flugzeug freute sich, dass sie von Bath nach Bath-Bath reisen.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:08 PM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

plomlompom Beruhigt euch: Alles, was 2016 vermeintlich schief lief, ist Teil von Elon Musks großem Plan.

via Mobile Web (M2) (retweeted on 6:11 PM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

zephoria Transparency != Accountability “We can't get closer to accountability if we don’t know what values we’re aiming for” points.datasociety.net/transparency-a…

via Buffer (retweeted on 4:32 PM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

hellojed "An meiner Unfähigkeit zu lesen ist natürlich auch der Bolschewismus schuld!" twitter.com/PLengsfeld/sta…

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:31 PM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

Eilenbrat Die Produktbezeichnug "Em-eukal" klingt so derart altbacken, dass man sie stets mit schnarrend-nasaler Wochenschaustimme sprechen muss.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:30 PM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

SaveManning Who supports Chelsea Manning's campaign? freechelsea.com/timeserved/who… @POTUS please give @xychelseatwitter.com/i/web/status/8…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:32 AM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

MoMoFoxFox One of my favorite programming stories is how Insomniac games exploited their own game to patch a bug. pic.twitter.com/wLlGYBSR2X

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:31 AM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

texttheater @UK_Groningen 4'33" van John Cage.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:28 AM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter Web Client)

fleischskandal Die Banane ist zu krumm für den Fackelmann Bananentresor. EU, you had one job!

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:31 AM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)

"Alternative Romanenden – Vom Fachmann für Kenner" titanic-magazin.de/fachmann/2016/…

via Twitter for Android

durst Zu Weihnachten bekommt ihr von mir diesen praktischen und formschönen Fressehalter.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:23 AM, Dec 1st, 2016 via Twitter for Android)