The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

May 11th, 2014

YorkshireLiff Wharfe (n.) Loud conversation between successful business men who want you to know you are overhearing successful business men.

via web (retweeted on 10:13 PM, May 11th, 2014 via TweetDeck)

YorkshireLiff Ruswarp (v.) To deliberately write a word unclearly when you don’t know how to spell it.

via web (retweeted on 10:13 PM, May 11th, 2014 via TweetDeck)

SpecGram Today’s Punishment: hamster (n) 1. one who hamsts. Ex.: “I’m gonna hamst you up.”

via IFTTT (retweeted on 4:47 PM, May 11th, 2014 via Twitter for Android)

TheTweetOfGod People tend to greatly underestimate the frequency with which they should shut up.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:34 PM, May 11th, 2014 via Twitter for Android)

"Gemeinnuß" plattdeutsch für "Gemeinnutz" - mir schwant, hier hat sich jemand etwas eingeredet. @FriesMuseum pic.twitter.com/rMOK1MKpCp

via Twitter for Android from Leeuwarden, Friesland

König Dillefan war berüchtigt für seine Tobsuchtsanfälle, bei denen er seine Minister gerne mal "zepterte".

via Twitter for Android

hllizi In die Hose formuliert: "Doch zum Glück wird in eher seltenen Fällen die Atemnot der Kinder so groß, dass akute Erstickungsgefahr droht."

via web (retweeted on 1:45 PM, May 11th, 2014 via Twitter for Android)

JMalinowskiR ‘We Kill People Based on Metadata’ by David Cole | NYRblog | The New York Review of Books nybooks.com/blogs/nyrblog/… via @nybooks

via Tweet Button (retweeted on 11:54 AM, May 11th, 2014 via Twitter for Android)

labenzticker appen (V.): (äppt, upp, üppe, äpp, geoppen) Auf dem Smartphone herumtippseln. labenz.texttheater.net/appen

via Labenzticker (retweeted on 11:52 AM, May 11th, 2014 via Twitter for Android)

codinghorror Twitter (n): a collaborative game where you try to guess what just happened based on a stream of truly awful jokes about the event

via web (retweeted on 11:52 AM, May 11th, 2014 via Twitter for Android)

"Perhaps we can find some pharmacy at the station or some stationery at the farm."

via Twitter for Android

durst - "Sag das Zauberwort!"
- "Bitte!"
- "Tschuldigung. Bitte sag das Zauberwort!"
- "..."

via Tweetbot for iOS (retweeted on 1:29 AM, May 11th, 2014 via Twitter for Android)

haekelschwein „Die breiten runden Gläser dieser Gleitsichtbrille stechen natürlich sofort ins Auge“ – (Aus der Reihe: Schlechte Werbetexte, Folge 351)

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 12:22 AM, May 11th, 2014 via Twitter for Android)