The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

April 18th, 2022

jamis K: I’m too tired.

Me: You’re a bicycle?

K: No, I mean I’m exhausted.

Me: What were you doing behind a car?

K: Dad! I’m fatigued!

Me: Well, stop wearing camo.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:16 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

xkcd Family Reunion xkcd.com/2608 pic.twitter.com/uVnIhVteFL

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:15 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

"Sie haben meinen Mandanten zur Gehacktlage aufgefordert!"

via Twitter for Android

Grumpfdalm Having a body is just too much technical debt ;_;

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:02 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

Horosbot 🎩 ENTSCHEIDER (geboren in KW 35–39)
Dein Startup klingt fundamental out of place. Fristwahrend monolithische Specs feiner aufzulösen verheißt neue Synergien.

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 8:58 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

derwahremawa Im Wagen vor mir FERT pic.twitter.com/otIQTngn68

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 5:49 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

derwahremawa Gerade meinen Eltern die Heizkörper digitalisiert. Alles für die NATO

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 4:06 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

KidsWriteJokes NOCK NOCK ;
HOSE THERE
IT IS ME
IT IS WHO NOW
IT ME
WHAT
WHAT AM I HERE FOR
EMM I FORGOT
WELL GO AWAY BECAUSE IAM GOING TO THE SHOP
CAN I COME
NO
I WILL BE NOT ANOYING

via Hootsuite Inc. (retweeted on 3:15 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

matt_meeta meine freundin erzählte mir letztens wat von care arbeit dass ditte vor allem die frauen machen ick dachte mir nur so kehr arbeit dit machen bei uns doch die jungs von der bsr pic.twitter.com/Jwwvmifjz5

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 3:15 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

LaiciteStan Emmanuel Macron's presidency is easily the most important event in gay culture since the Stonewall riots pic.twitter.com/V5hyfZ08jk

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 3:14 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

FrankPasquale The disturbing propensity of large language models to parrot “life-threatening advice doesn’t (only) stem from the fact that their training data is uncurated. Rather, it’s connected to the fact that by design LLMs are just making stuff up.”
medium.com/@emilymenonben…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 3:13 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

@cactus_chef Du meinst schon "or die trying", oder? :D

via Twitter for Android in reply to cactus_chef

FakeLibStats The keeper of the label maker is the 3rd most powerful person in the library

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 1:37 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

RockIslandChick ok but also how did Playboy in the 80s manage to make a trans joke that wasn’t offensive???????? pic.twitter.com/3F0iNnSJPU

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:50 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

sascha_wolfer „Stimmt, die Ärzte machen immer aus allem eine große Geschichte. Du gehst wegen einer verstauchten Zehe hin, und der schickt dich zum Blutbild und zum Gehirnröntgen und zur Darmspiegelung, und nach einer Woche bist Du tot.“ - Wolf Haas, Müll 😍

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:49 PM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

SPIEGELCaptions Covid-19-Todesfälle in Deutschland: Superstar der Szene

via SPIEGELCaptions (retweeted on 11:13 AM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

labenzticker Altenhundem, das: Götzenbild in Form eines kitschig eingerahmten Fotos eines verstorbenen Haustiers, das auf einer Kommode oder einem Nachttisch steht und verehrt wird. labenz.neutsch.org/Altenhundem

via Labenzticker (retweeted on 11:13 AM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

KulturGeschwtz Oho aha, lasst es mich erklären, Memes, das sind ja SYMBOLE, da wird irgendwas TRANSZENDIERT, die User werden zur COMMUNIO, schwafel schwafel schwafel, Hauptsache auch irgendwas zu Memes sagen!

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 10:52 AM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

Wordle 303 3/6

⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜
⬜⬜🟩🟨⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

via Twitter for Android

"Someone who needs to create a licensing agreement or a lease doesn’t just need a document that looks and feels like a licensing agreement or a lease." twitter.com/emilymbender/s…

via Twitter for Android

#87 3/6 (100%)
🟩🟩🟨⬜⬜⬆️
🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜↘️
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🎉
worldle.teuteuf.fr

via Twitter for Android

mer__edith Meanwhile, it casts scholars who question these claims as oppositional "watchdogs" -- marginalizing evidence-informed perspectives, and casting such work as closer to "advocacy" than research. This is inaccurate. It's also a common means of maligning inconvenient perspectives. 3/

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 5:10 AM, Apr 18th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)