The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

May 14th, 2022

KidsWriteJokes we need to take you to the Long Doctor because your teeth are SO LONG

via Hootsuite Inc. (retweeted on 9:09 PM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

ausserirdischer Die Frau schaut mich am Esstisch mit einem irritierenden Blick an und ich frage, was los ist.

Darauf meint sie trocken:
"Ach nichts. Ich habe gerade nur in die Leere gestarrt und Du saßt mir dabei im Weg."

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:22 PM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

formschub Ich bräuchte mal eine K.I., die mir vor dem Wiedereinstieg in eine lange pausierte Serie automatisch aus den vorangegangenen 5 Folgen eine Handlungsrampe zum mentalen Anknüpfen zusammenschneidet.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:22 PM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

tinysubversions Common accounts that people dismiss as "bot":

- burner accounts owned by real people so they can look at porn
- accounts from different cultures (patois is often interpreted by white evaluators as random filler text!)
- fans who post repetitive stuff in support of their fandom

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 8:20 PM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

complingy Anybody else ever catch themselves typing the wrong word based on phonetic similarity? Just typed "wants" when I meant "once".

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 6:08 PM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

NewYorker Twitter is “similar to New York City,” says the Washington Post columnist @TaylorLorenz, in that “the people who spend time there often actively hate it, but refuse to leave.” nyer.cm/BJbj5Up

via SocialFlow (retweeted on 6:08 PM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

Diese Designertoiletten, bei denen man durch die Brille durchgreifen muss, um sie runterzuklappen. Weiß man da schon Genaueres?

via Twitter for Android

derwahremawa Wie fändet ihr es, wenn ich etwas Erwitte anröchte?

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 4:02 PM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

Bin in der Kläranlage, falls jemand was klären will

via Twitter for Android

„Diese Art der Musealität habe ich ja gefressen.“

via Twitter for Android

ProfDrKaffee Mein Name ist Chris.

Wie in Hochrisikogebiet.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 12:54 PM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

Film gehört nicht ins Museum 😤

via Twitter for Android

labenzticker Oberkochen, das: Zubereitung am Tisch. labenz.neutsch.org/Oberkochen

via Labenzticker (retweeted on 11:43 AM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

neutsch_org schlitzen – schlaß – schläße – geschlessen neutsch.org/Starke_Verben/S

via neutschbot (retweeted on 11:43 AM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

Fubbesianer im Zug 😣

via Twitter for Android

GoodGermanWords The individual units of perception that eventually condense into one German Unit of Suspicion are called FOR-THOUGHTS-MOMENTS pic.twitter.com/ee5JjcVnkY

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:08 AM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

Mir scheint es an der adjektivischen Deklination bei „Vorsitzende“ bzw. der komplexen NP „Sprecherin…“ zu liegen. Weiß jemand mehr? twitter.com/kscheib/status…

via Twitter for Android

kjhealy Thoughts and prayers to all my Computational SocSci / Preregistered Study on the Twitter API / Carefully Deployed Multi-Arm Mixed-Method Heterogenous Network Intervention peeps who have to read this and reflect on their lives and the choices that have brought them to this point pic.twitter.com/SguLuFjaXX

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 8:53 AM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)

Der Mund-Nasen-Schutz – hab ihn parat statt nur dabei ☝️⁠😷

via Twitter for Android

6mal5.com 🇩🇪 467 3/6

⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜
⬜🟩🟩⬜⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

by @dewordle

via Twitter for Android

RVAwonk Oh wow. The Lancet — one of the most prestigious medical journals in the world — is out with a forceful statement about Roe v. Wade *on the cover*. pic.twitter.com/foqLq4DWic

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:20 AM, May 14th, 2022 via Twitter for Android)