The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

February 16th, 2018

RT @FeodoraFraser: Freundin:
Warum hast Du Brot im Badezimmer?
Wegen der Feuchtigkeit?

Ich (twittermäßig geantwortet)
Nein!
Damit ich die…

via Twitter for Android

legogradstudent I just checked out a new coffee shop. At the register, there's a sign that says there's no wi-fi so that customers "make a friend."

It worked! My new friend is a different coffee shop.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:22 PM, Feb 16th, 2018 via Twitter Web Client)

@frachtschaden 20% Sie gehören dem Kaiser.
90% Sie gehören in diese Gruppierung.
25% Und so weiter.
130% Sie sind mit einem ganz feinen Pinsel aus Kamelhaar gezeichnet.

via Twitter Web Client in reply to frachtschaden

Warum ich Dinge esse:
55% Sie sind nahrhaft und schmackhaft.
15% Stressessen.
30% Sie liegen rum und stören.

via Twitter Web Client

RT @Nachtvogel: Biosphärisches Paßfoto

via Twitter Web Client

samim has been banned from reddit and other places.

Prediction: In 2018 someone will start a new porn site, which 100% focuses on "fake" videos, generated with machine learning. It will be the most popular adult site online by 2021. pic.twitter.com/qS58iLl0VK

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 11:32 AM, Feb 16th, 2018 via Twitter Web Client)

IQAndreas We still don't have a name for that... thing... that iPhone breaking thing. I'm not going to tell you which one it is because some of my followers use iPhones. Let's just go with That-Symbol-Who-Must-Not-Be-Printed pic.twitter.com/u5KSijCapo

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:01 AM, Feb 16th, 2018 via Twitter Web Client)

RT @gregd_nlp: *Very* strong results in this work and some cool analysis (looking at how different levels of the LM correlate with differen…

via Twitter Web Client

"Die Erkenntnis aber, dass etwas mit unserem Beziehungsstandardmodell nicht stimmen kann, scheint sich erstaunlich langsam durchzusetzen." https://t.co/7ctPIwkVYk

via Twitter Web Client

existentialcoms Things I want to see when I go to a restaurant's website:
1. The menu.
2. The hours.

Things I don't want to see:
1. Literally anything else you god damn assholes.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:59 AM, Feb 16th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

existentialcoms Anyone who has studied aesthetic theory knows that he pretty much has to at this point.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:59 AM, Feb 16th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

existentialcoms I mean let's be honest, the only real reason to watch this Superbowl is just in case Justin Timberlake has a wardrobe malfunction and flashes dong.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:59 AM, Feb 16th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

existentialcoms I hate it when job interviews ask you what your five year plan is.

Like what, all of the sudden I have to pretend to be a fully functional adult who plans ahead and shit?!

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:59 AM, Feb 16th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

existentialcoms Advice to philosophy students: you aren't Ludwig fucking Wittgenstein. Stop trying to solve philosophy, and just try to understand what the main questions are, and why.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:51 AM, Feb 16th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

RT @existentialcoms: I like how liberals use "social mobility" as an indication of how good a society is. Like…someone has to be the boss,…

via Twitter for Android

existentialcoms Philosophy is important because without it we'd have to leave it up to scientists to figure out the meaning of life, and it would probably end up being a bunch of nerd shit.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:46 AM, Feb 16th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)