The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

November 5th, 2015

MenopauseChicks Pre pap test friend sprays perfume down there. Doctor: "That's festive." It was her daughter's glitter spray. @wafflesnbacon @TheBloggess

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:20 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

JE551CAw @TheBloggess We have a Texas sage plant that flowers before rain. When asked if it would rain today I said "Not according to my bush."

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:16 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

tanyaphillips18 @TheBloggess noticed the blind man approaching me wasn't sure where I was so called out 'on your right', I was on his left. He corrected me.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:13 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

amyquispe i can be there for your without being *that* there for you :P

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:47 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

Schmidtlepp Aber Herr Altmaier, das gilt für uns beide auch! Meine Güte, was haben Sie gemacht?! twitter.com/peteraltmaier/…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:30 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

"Ich schaff das nicht. Hatte ich vor einer halben Stunde nicht noch richtig Hunger? Versteh einer die Menschen."

via Twitter for Android

astefanowitsch Habe @telepolis_news ein Interview zur Sprache der Flüchtlingsdebatte gegeben: heise.de/tp/artikel/46/…

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 7:26 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

astefanowitsch Mist, aufgeflogen: In den Kommentaren durchschaut man mich sofort als „beamteten Teil der kulturmarxistischen Verleumdungsinfrastruktur.“

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:30 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

skeptikantin Wie unnütz. „Mein iPad finden“ kann erst den Standort ermitteln, wenn es als „verloren“ gemeldet ist. Ergebnis: hab's zu Hause „verloren“.

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 6:09 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

jamesiry They were trying to manipulate the limestone block market. Plutocrats of the time called it a "strategic reserve." twitter.com/jasonbaldridge…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:31 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

stanfordnlp Huge credit to ACL (Assn for Computational Linguistics), @StevenBird and @knmnyn for making things so. twitter.com/jasonbaldridge…

via Twitterrific (retweeted on 4:00 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn omg <3 <3 <3 pic.twitter.com/JCxhwEBher

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 2:59 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

aparrish there's a certain beauty to DST i guess. it's certainly among the most dada of all participatory performances mandated by government

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:59 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

SoVeryBritish Accidentally microwaving your soup for the full recommended time, causing it to explode and destroy the kitchen

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:59 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

peterbreuer Ich könnte mich in den Arsch beißen, dass ich nicht gelenkiger bin.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:59 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

korrekturen Kleiner, aber feiner Unterschied: »irgendwohin fliegen« versus »irgendwo hinfliegen«.

via Hootsuite (retweeted on 2:59 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

jasonbaldridge This Lingua business makes me extra happy that computational linguistics is overwhelmly open, free & online. aclweb.org/anthology/

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:58 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

reubenbond Most JS/Python/Ruby apps... pic.twitter.com/hkDkjdxpFH

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:57 PM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn MA Numminen singt mir aus der Seele.
🎶 ... Folglich will ich auch nichts als Scheinfreiheit... 🎶

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:33 AM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

Stuttgart, der gestresstestetste Bahnhof Deutschlands.

via Twitter for Android

textundblog "Bestandserhaltung 2.0
Ein ungeeignetes Urheberrecht ist für das digitale kulturelle Gedächtnis das “saure Papier” d. 21.Jhts." @esteinhauer

via Echofon (retweeted on 9:15 AM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

astefanowitsch Wir sollten an der Freien Universität eine Tagung zu Interrogativpronomen veranstalten und sie „The Dahlem Which Trials“ nennen!

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:59 AM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

houellebeck Nordic Walking ist eine Übung in Demut und Frustrationstoleranz.
Außerdem treibt man den Läuferkollegen damit die Fremdscham ins Gesicht.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:53 AM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

alicemazzy for me, and for a lot of us I'm sure, computers and the net are more of an exocortex. an extension of the self rather than an object apart

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:35 AM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

pamelafox How students try to get me not to look at the surprises in their program: they claim the code is CONFIDENTIAL. pic.twitter.com/eOEi3k6Diz

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 12:04 AM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

jamis When writing failing tests...make sure the failure you get is the failure you expect before moving on.

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:02 AM, Nov 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)