The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

December 3rd, 2015

Als hätte die Pozilei Geld für Firzelanf!

via Twitter for Android

SoVeryBritish When someone calls to cancel plans:
-Say "never mind"
-Feel huge relief
-Realise you've managed to put pyjamas on by the time you hang up

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:01 PM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

@spinfocl Ja, die UE ist echt nicht sein Meisterwerk.

via Twitter for Android in reply to spinfocl

nsaphra How could we resist a candidate who really understands our wily, cunning ways? *rubs hands greedily* twitter.com/schreckreports…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:40 PM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

thepunningman "The bond's Name. James Name"
Pleased to... what?
"Bond Name's the james"
Are you alright?
"Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:37 PM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

frachtschaden „Wie zufrieden sind Sie mit den Suchergebnissen?“ pic.twitter.com/FKnPk17HsD

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:07 PM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

ojahnn Während des Sonnenaufgangs hatte der Himmel mehrere Farben.

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:36 AM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

frachtschaden Als Tierarzt jeden Tag einen Krebs heilen.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:36 AM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

/sign "Die mulitibeschissene Weltordnung" mspr0.de/?p=4495

via Twitter for Android

joewalnes Aww yeah. Google's new Vision API, aka "pass a photo and understand what's in it".

googlecloudplatform.blogspot.com/2015/12/Google… pic.twitter.com/uS3BYjK2O5

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:41 AM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

j_kloiber 'Private messaging, now with all ten fingers' Signal Desktop beta is available. Hurray! whispersystems.org/blog/signal-de… @whispersystems @DLX

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:45 AM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

sm Best part of the Zuckerberg letter is when he tells his newborn he'll answer her many questions in the coming months pic.twitter.com/GmicdxjpDe

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:40 AM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

deeplearning4j what it's like working on neural nets: pic.twitter.com/Ata1nwAaoZ

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 12:38 AM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

ChPietsch Komm mit! Ich übergebe einen offenen Brief zum Stopp von an SPD-Politiker bei mir vor Ort veranstaltungen.campact.de/#!/containers/… via @campact

via Mobile Web (retweeted on 12:38 AM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

ReverseICS "We can’t get rid of PDF because it is Turing-complete and all potential life forms are sacred."

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 12:34 AM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

MarkCC .@browbeat @EricHolthaus I love veggieburgers. The key is, good veggieburgers don't try to taste like meat. They taste like veggieburgers.

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 12:13 AM, Dec 3rd, 2015 via Twitter for Android)