June 25th, 2015

SoVeryBritish Wait for it, wait for it, steady now, keep calm, breathe, focus...

*Train door button illuminates*

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7:39 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:48 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

freelancepolice Die @jungewelt heute mal klarer Titelbild-Sieger gegen die @tazgezwitscher. pic.twitter.com/0eNPAq8p4R

6:34 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:45 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

toorsdenote If you think drivers "stuck" behind a bike get mad, you should see them stuck behind a car going 25 in a 25 zone. Holy road rage batman.

3:38 PM, Jun 19th, 2015 via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:36 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

toorsdenote I got tired of hearing "Cyclists never obey laws" so I started obeying all laws while driving my car. Holy shit it enrages other drivers.

3:36 PM, Jun 19th, 2015 via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:36 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

existentialcoms Give a man a question and he is puzzled for a day.
Teach a man to question and he will be puzzled for the rest of his life.

6:00 PM, Jun 19th, 2015 via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:15 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

existentialcoms "When you get down to it, all actions are selfish"
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I define 'selfish' so broadly that it's meaningless"
"Oh"

2:38 AM, Jun 22nd, 2015 via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:14 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

existentialcoms Uh, this is kind of awkward, but I wasn't gazing into you, Abyss. My friend was standing behind you. So…if you could stop gazing into me…

2:09 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:11 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

SoVeryBritish "Crisps in a sandwich? That's weird" - Translation: I'm not to be trusted

2:55 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 3:02 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

mmastrac This mug is on point. pic.twitter.com/TFmXWMQaYm

3:42 AM, Jun 5th, 2015 via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 12:40 PM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

frachtschaden pic.twitter.com/Un7mUwkQLf

11:44 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:50 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

labenzticker erwitzen (V.): Vor Hitze sterben. labenz.texttheater.net/erwitzen

11:00 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Labenzticker (retweeted on 11:09 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client)

Chaosfux "Die Polizei leitet den Verkehr bei Landau um."
"Beilaundau, Beilandau!"
Ich wär keine gute Radio-Moderatorin.

6:09 PM, Jun 5th, 2013 via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:44 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

Chaosfux "Ich verstehe den Kult um meine Person nicht."
"Es gibt keinen Kult um Ihre Person."
"Versteh ich nicht."

3:01 PM, Sep 26th, 2013 via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:44 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

Chaosfux Bevor du jemanden verurteilst, fass dir an die eigene Nase.
Dann kannst du ihn immer noch verurteilen UND deine Stimme klingt dabei witzig.

1:18 PM, May 15th, 2014 via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:44 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

Chaosfux "Ich ernähre mich ausschließlich von Sonnenstrahlen."
"Das sind Pommes."
"Ich bin kurzsichtig."

6:58 PM, Oct 4th, 2013 via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:44 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

alicemazzy The keyboard used by the designers of emacs had meta (outside of ctrl), rather than the painful alt (inside of ctrl) pic.twitter.com/90fAUlQtaB

2:56 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:42 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

alicemazzy The keyboard used by the designer of vi had esc next to Q and arrows printed on hjkl pic.twitter.com/99XXIrmeEK

2:53 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:42 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

_Charl_Parker @SoVeryBritish Lost count of the amount of times that I've been told that 'the nights are drawing in' so far this week!

10:40 PM, Jun 24th, 2015 via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:44 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

pmphlt Thanks @RepJoeKennedy for voting against #HR1806. STEM needs support. Cutting NSF and politicizing research isn't the way.

10:31 PM, Jun 24th, 2015 via TweetDeck (retweeted on 5:43 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)

nodrama_de Jemand musste Josef K. nonmentioned haben, denn ohne dass er etwas Böses getan hätte, wurde er eines Morgens wüst beshitstormed.

9:43 PM, Jun 24th, 2015 via oiler_in (retweeted on 5:39 AM, Jun 25th, 2015 via Twitter for Android)