The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

January 21st, 2020

frank_opitz „Es ist schrecklich öde geworden. Seit Duelle verboten sind, ist im Saloon tote Hose. Sogar die Daltons mussten umschulen und verkaufen jetzt Ćevapčići.“ twitter.com/mdr_sn/status/…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:48 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

frank_opitz Drei Worte eintippen - 10 Sekunden

Passendes Emoji dazu suchen - Was? Schon wieder Mitte Januar durch?

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:47 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

Wankinobi75 Neulich im Zug von Zürich nach Stuttgart kurz nach dem Einsteigen. Fahrgast: „Hat es durchgängig Internet?“ Zugbegleiter: „Wir fahren durch Deutschland. Da können Sie froh sein, wenn es überall Gleise hat.“ Fahrgast: ?!! Ich: 😂

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:46 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

GretaThunberg I have never said anything like this, nor will I ever say it. It’s never too late to do as much as we can, every fraction of a degree matters. There are of course no magical “dates” for “saving the world”.
I am only quoting the SR1,5 IPCC report on remaining CO2 budgets. twitter.com/wef/status/121…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:46 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

wef @GretaThunberg Sorry @GretaThunberg, it's been a busy first day of . Here's what that tweet should have looked like twitter.com/wef/status/121…

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 8:46 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

DivestBerlin Schweizer Gericht spricht 12 Menschen frei: rechtfertigt zivilen Ungehorsam.

Aus Protest spielten die 12 in einer @CreditSuisse-Filiale Tennis. ist 1 der 3 schlimmsten Finanzierer klimazerstörender KohleGasÖl-Projekte der EU.
derstandard.at/story/20001133…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:14 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

JoshRaby As helpfully demonstrated here via Gorin Višnjić on Doctor Who, it is a universal truth that every white man possesses the ability, under the proper makeup, lighting, and costuming, to look exactly like Kevin Kline. pic.twitter.com/spyIe6neWX

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 6:47 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

alex_christofi Yesterday my colleague called me a 'book murderer' because I cut long books in half to make them more portable. Does anyone else do this? Is it just me? pic.twitter.com/VQUUdJMpwT

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:15 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

More interesting than the how is the why (also answered in the article) twitter.com/durst/status/1…

via Twitter for Android

xfoml a class assignment to build a chatbot (1955)—any student attempt would represent the earliest known system of this kind pic.twitter.com/4raaXiSy13

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 4:13 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

durst Habe nun, ach! Käsebreze,
Toastbrot mit Honig und leider auch Schokolinsen durchaus schnabuliert, mit heißem Bemühn.

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 4:13 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

Herr_Rau Vier Mönche gelobten zu schweigen. Abends rief einer zum Diener: "Sieh nach dem Licht!" Der zweite sagte überrascht: "Wir sollten doch kein Wort sprechen." "Ihr seid dumm. Warum redet ihr?" fragte der dritte. "Ich habe als Einziger nicht gesprochen", stellte der vierte fest.

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 4:13 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

emmajane_net Trying to explain all the options for “undoing” work in Git was taking too many words so I made a flowchart. pic.twitter.com/fCkkmgNAnI

via Tweetbot for Mac (retweeted on 3:46 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

grgrdvrt Tetris on the left, Snake on the right. You play both at the same time.
With the same controls.
You lose in one, you lose in both. Good luck.

grgrdvrt.com/codevember_201… pic.twitter.com/qUx3UvEmSX

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 3:45 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

NlpTyp provides a comprehensive catalogue of the world's languages, language families and dialects. It assigns a unique and stable identifier (the Glottocode) to (in principle) all languoids, i.e. all families, languages, and dialects. twitter.com/clld_dot_org/s…

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 3:42 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

durst Vierte Kasse öffnet nicht. Ist es denn zu glauben! Ich STAMPFE auf.

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 1:01 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

durst - "Denkt dir mal 'ne Zahl zwischen 1 und 10 aus."
- "8!"
- "8 gibt's doch schon, du Idiot."

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:44 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

literalbanana The case against doing things

(from Civilization, Clive Bell, 1928 - cf. Huemer’s In Praise of Passivity, 2012 owl232.net/papers/passivi…) pic.twitter.com/Vu3CRUkJo2

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 12:43 PM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter Web App)

publictorsten So sind Gefahrinformationen weitgehend nutzlos.
1. Die Info kam um 8 Uhr -- da lief die Evakuierung bereits.
2. Es betraf einen eng umfassten Bereich im anderen Stadtteil.
3. Es gibt keinerlei konkrete Infos, nicht mal einen Link zur Website der Stadt Köln. pic.twitter.com/IFC2BNSxoV

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 9:49 AM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

rcbregman For some reason, I haven't been invited to Davos this year. Was it something I said? 🤔
pic.twitter.com/6Qmrup7HrB

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 8:59 AM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

ConalPierse You arrive at a gate with two guards.
Guard 1: Halt, traveler. You must solve our riddle to continue.
Guard 2: ʰᵉʳᵉ ʷᵉ ᵍᵒ
G1: ONE of us only tells the truth. The other only tells LIES.
G2: jesus christ, Daniel, I said I was sorry.

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 8:11 AM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)

mjpost This reminds me of the time *my* mom wouldn’t let me get a pet turtle.

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 7:27 AM, Jan 21st, 2020 via Twitter for Android)