The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @texttheater ever

August 30th, 2018

hllizi Telling a child to shove a submarine up his ass definitely sounds pedo to me.

via Twitter Lite (retweeted on 9:51 PM, Aug 30th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

tutubuslatinus nuper in cafeo nomine Stellabucks, ego cauponi dixi mihi nomen esse Spartacum. cum caupo ‘Spartace’ vocavisset, omnes convivae simul surrexerunt et una nuntiaverunt se esse Spartacum. ego, interea, maxime gaudebam cauponem casu vocativo usum esse.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:37 PM, Aug 30th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

thunderquacks calling characters [first name] [franchise] when they have no confirmed last name is funny but doing it when they do have a confirmed full name is even funnier

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:34 PM, Aug 30th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

Archiphilologus »Mary Shelley war 19, als sie ›Frankenstein‹ schrieb – wie alt warst DU?«

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:07 PM, Aug 30th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

@ojahnn So, which is it? Smh if not Singapore

via Twitter for Android in reply to ojahnn

hllizi No he didn't? Could you please stop treating his word like some holy scripture with lots of layers of hidden meaning? There is just one layer here and that's the plain dumb one on which there is nothing to see. twitter.com/washingtonpost…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:03 PM, Aug 30th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

Ted_Underwood Useful for ppl trying to autodidact. Unfortunately every symbol means 5 different things. Wtf, math? twitter.com/clured/status/…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:56 PM, Aug 30th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

artyintheuk if I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online it's not that I lied it's just that I failed

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 12:34 PM, Aug 30th, 2018 via Twitter Web Client)

alles_b Heute waren viele Leute borstig und garstig und ich habe sie stoisch zerfreundlicht. Wohl ist das überaus anstrengend, jedoch es funktioniert. (Gehe nun, von mir selbst tief und auch ein bisschen eklig ergriffen, die Spülmaschine entkalken.)

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:31 PM, Aug 30th, 2018 via Twitter Web Client)

mattblaze As a professor type, I’m puzzled by demand for degree programs in “blockchain”. It’s like having a degree in binary search trees, an at least equally important and interesting data structure.

Just study computer science (or business or embezzlement or whatever).

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:46 AM, Aug 30th, 2018 via Twitter for Android)

"Du hast ja wohl einen an der Vollkorn-Knusper-Waffel."

via Twitter for Android

hllizi Was für einfache Menschen ein schreckliches Mordwerkzeug ist, ist für schreckliche Mörder nur ein Werkzeug.

via Twitter Lite (retweeted on 9:57 AM, Aug 30th, 2018 via Twitter Web Client)